Head over Heels
by mamoo999
Summary: Ep 4:21 Headhunters Kate takes on Slaughter in high heels, She is going to get her partner back. He's pulled away, it's time to fix things.
1. Chapter 1

I never liked Headhunters. So I changed the story. The case is the same.

I don't own anything, just playing.

* * *

Kate's heels were making a clicking sound as she paced back and forth; the sharp clicks reminded her of a ticking time bomb. Kate felt the pressure; she needed to figure out what the hell was going on with Castle. He'd changed. The session with Dr. Burke kept replaying in her head. She'd gone to a session hoping to get a plan of action. She'd left Dr. Burke's office with, more questions.

_**Dr. Burke**__: What do you think he's telling you with his behavior?_

_**Beckett**__: That maybe he's not there anymore? That maybe he's not ready? What if I waited too long?_

_**Dr. Burke**__: You weren't waiting, Kate. You were healing._

_**Beckett**__: Yeah, but then in the meantime, he's moved on._

_**Dr. Burke**__: Or he's protecting himself by not taking more emotional risks._

_**Beckett**__: So then what do I do?_

_**Dr. Burke**__: What do you want to do?_

_Kate what do you want?_

_I want Castle to look at me the way he used to_

_I want Castle to be there, like he ALWAYS was. _

_I want Castle to L…I want him to tell me he loves me when I'm not dying before his eyes. I want it to be real. _

_I want Castle to sweep me up and take me away, for a weekend to his house in the Hampton's. _

_I want Castle to unleash the passion he's held back for the last three years. _

_I want Castle to be consumed with love for me in the same way my heart aches for him. Kate wiped an errant tear from her face. She quickly blinked back the rest of them. _

_I can not fall apart. _

_I will figure this out._

_I will not lose him._

_She glanced quickly around the _precinct_. The boys were still canvassing the apartment building where the Vic. lived. They were asking the residents what they'd seen or heard. _

_Partners; Kate was missing hers. He'd given some lame excuse; he needed a new perspective a new muse to shadow. He needed new inspiration. It would add to" his writing"….Pff, he" needed" to be here with her. God she missed him. "What have I done?" _Kate asks herself.

"Becket" Kate answered her phone with the hostility she felt toward one Detective Ethan Slaughter.

"Girl, what the in the hell is going on with writer boy?" Laine had just finished sewing the "Y-shaped incision closed. She'd finished the autopsy on the Vic a young street punk who went by the name of Glitch.

"So, did Castle come in with Slaughter?"

"Yes, you know that boy isn't called Slaughter for 'nothing. His last three partners ended up dead." Laine pulled the sheet up over the victim. She readied the body to return to cold storage.

Kate rubbed her forehead. Her head and her heart were pounding. "I've heard most of his partners don't make it past day one." This was not helping. Kate's agitation level was spiking. She felt like a bottle of Diet Coke, Slaughter was the Mentos. Dropped together; eruption.

"He um…he said he need inspiration or something like that."

"What he is going to get is dead." Laine removed her gloves and trashed them.

"Laine"

"Okay, I know not helping… I'm just saying Castle better watch his back, Meet me for lunch, Remy's one hour, girl we need to talk." Laine hung up the phone and took the body to the cold storage locker. "Slaughter is bad news, all I'm saying." This wasn't the first time Laine talked to a corpse.

"Yo, Beckett" Javi and Ryan returned to the precinct. This wasn't the twelfth's case; the boys were trying to protect Castle. They were worried too. They knew Slaughter reputation. He was reckless, and unpredictable.

"The Jamaican gang is in a turf war with the Westies. A new player Cesar Vales and his gang are trying to start a war between the two rival gangs." Ryan had run across the gangs during his work undercover. When Gangs went to war there were casualties. Both sides would stop at nothing to gain control. It was all about the power. The gangs didn't care about innocent bystanders, they viewed kids as future gang members, they were fair game.

"They kill each other off, boom, in steps in Vales with his gang to take over." Espo went over by Kate's desk and sat on the corner.

Kate's fears were just confirmed. Castle was in the middle of a gang war. "Guy's Slaughter is not going to have Castle's back, he is a solo player."

"I got a call from Castle; he wanted me to run plates." Javi looked at Kate

"Run them, but give me the information."

"You got it, boss." Javi headed out to run the plates.

Ryan came over and asks "How's the trial prep going?" He really wanted to ask how Kate was holding up. He knew she was worried about her partner.

"Fine"

Ryan knew when a woman said "fine" it was anything but fine. Beckett was in worse shape than he thought. The entire precinct could all see the duo were more than partners. They belonged together. They needed each other. Their timing sucked. Ryan went to help Espo. They needed to get Castle out of this mess as soon as possible.

Kate looked at her Dad's watch. If she left now she could walk to Remy's and clear her head. Kate went to let the boys know she was headed to lunch.

Kate punched the button on the elevator, she needed to get out. The walls felt like they were closing in. The curls in her chestnut-brown hair bounced as the detective shook her head. It wasn't that long ago; she built the walls around herself to protect her from getting hurt; now the same walls were going to bury her if she didn't stop them.

Kate searched her brain. She was trying to pinpoint the exact moment when Castle changed. He was going to tell her something after the bombing case. Ryan interrupted and he never told her. Kate looked up, she was about to pass Remy's she saw Laine frantically waving at her through the window.

Oops.

"I thought for a minute there you were headed to Jersey." Laine was studying Kate

"I...I was just, I can't….he's changed Laine" Kate was hurting.

"Honey, I don't know what's going on with writer boy, but I do know he loves you."

Kate's eyes were tear filled "I…don't know Lanie….he won't even look at me." Tears spilled from Kate.

"I've racked my brain, I don't know what happened."

Laine just listened; she knew her friend was hurting.

"I came out of the interrogation and there was a cup of coffee on my desk like always, but Castle was gone. He didn't come back that day. When he did come back….he was…..distant. He went back to "player Castle" bimbo's and fast cars."

"Interrogation?"

"The bombing case"

Laine nodded

"I was angry the guy was lying to me, telling me he didn't remember. I yelled at him I knew damn well he remembered. I was shot and I remembered everything that happened that day. In living color. I wish I could forget…"

Kate dropped her head

"Oh God"

"What?"

Kate's eyes were still closed when she raised her head and opened them to look into Laine's.

"He heard me"

Laine had a puzzled look on her face.

"He heard me admit, I lied to him. I remembered what he told me that day."

"What did he say?"

"Stay with me Kate, I love you Kate, stay with me."

"Oh…Kate… no wonder…He's hurt"

"When I woke up in the hospital, I was confused. Castle came in and I remembered him telling me he loved me, I was scared Laine. Josh was there, I told Castle I didn't remember anything I told him I'd call, and then I took off. I was a wreck. I ran and hid. I wanted to be better; I wanted it to be real. I didn't know if he meant it, or he was just scared.

"Kate, he meant it, that man would move a mountain for you, a bucket of dirt at a time, if that's what you wanted. You have to tell him how you feel."

"What if I waited to long?"

"Then you live with the choices you made. Not telling him is one mistake you can't afford to make. You owe him the truth. The man waited for you Kate, he put his life on hold…for you. Don't you think he's got enough material for twenty books by now? He stayed for you."

Kate was trying to hold back the tears. When she thought about losing Castle forever the tears poured from her eyes.

The waitress placed the food on the table. She left quickly.

"Eat, your gonna' need to keep up your strength, you need to rescue writer boy from Slaughter."

Kate nodded. "I love him Laine"

"Oh, honey. I know you do."


	2. Chapter 2

**Still playing, not mine**

* * *

This ride along was different than anything Castle experienced before. Slaughter was a balls-to-the-walls kind of guy. They were flying through the city streets. It was a good thing the seat in the mustang didn't have a spring poking him in the butt; as much as Castle was bouncing around the spring in the crown Vic would have poked through, and into his butt.

The writer's eyes were open wide. Castle was grateful for the diversion. He'd been experiencing a range of emotions lately. The cause; Detective Beckett as per usual. The brown-haired beauty was the catalyst for the emotional roller coaster the writer was on; the ride was over, it ended when he found out she'd heard him that day in the cemetery. She knew, and she didn't have the guts to tell him the truth; she didn't feel that way towards him. She just wanted to be friends.

His mother was right (not likely he admit it) he couldn't turn his emotions off. He was hopelessly in love with Kate. What he could do, and what he would do; he would stop pining and following her around likes a love-sick puppy. The writer finally admitted to himself, he needed more. It was never going to happen.

Slaughter screeched to a stop in a residential neighbor.

Castle unbuckled his seatbelt "Are we here to inform the family Glitch is dead?"

Slaughter kicked the door open as he unfolded his 6' 4" frame from the car. "Yea, something like that,

Hey Reilly" Slaughter called out to the men standing on the sidewalk. "Your no good son Glitch, caught one in the head."

_That's not how Beckett would have handled the news_ thought Castle.

"He was carrying a bag with the heads of three Jamaican gang members."

Brian Reilly didn't react to the news his son was murdered by gang members. He whispered something to the men standing on the sidewalk. They glared at Slaughter and Castle, and then they headed off down the street.

"So, I figure Glitch got in over his head, he was trying to get back in with Vales; either the Jamaican or Westies gang put a cap into his head."

Reilly spoke, "That so."

"Yea, kid was a total screw up. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner." Slaughter motioned for Castle to get back in the car.

Castle climbed in and buckled his seat belt. Slaughter got in the car, scoffed at Castle for wearing his seat belt and floored the mustang.

"Time to rock and roll" Slaughter informed Castle of the plan. They were going to a local gang bar hangout. Reilly would be heading there to avenge his son.

Castle was confused "How do you know Mr. Reilly will show up at the bar?"

Slaughter gave Castle the I can't believe you just said that look. "It's what I'd do."

The duo slid to a stop across the street from the bar. They waited. When Slaughter spotted one of the guys from the sidewalk he said "Time to go"

Detective Ethan Slaughter: [as they are about to enter a bar, looking for a suspect] You packin'?  
Richard Castle: Packing? No; I'm not a cop. My vest says 'Writer' on it  
Detective Ethan Slaughter: [hands Castle his ankle gun] Rule number 3: You ride with me, you ride strapped. C'mon  
Richard Castle: Hey... hey. What about regulations?  
Detective Ethan Slaughter: You signed a waiver, didn't ya?... OK, you take the front; I'll go in the back  
Richard Castle: Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. Shouldn't we call for backup?  
Detective Ethan Slaughter: You got a skirt says 'Writer' on it, too?

Castle burst through the front door of the bar. "NYPD Associate Civilian Investigator. Nobody move!"

Everyone in the bar scattered; people were pushing and shoving, scrambling out of the bar. Castle stood by the bar trying not to get ran over. Slaughter comes in the back and apprehends Reilly just before he lifts his arm to shoot the suspect. Castle tries to subdue the guy Reilly was going to shoot. Slaughter watches as Castle is getting his ass kicked. Castle finally gets the upper hand and subdues the guy.

Slaughter cuffs Reilly, and throws a pair of cuffs over to Castle; he cuffs the intended victim who goes by the name of Shea. They head to the twelfth precinct.

The elevator dings, Espo, Ryan and Beckett look up to witness Castle and Slaughter bring the pair in for a Perp walk. Slaughter heads to hand them over to booking. Castle heads over to his former partners.

"What happened to your eye 'Bro?" Espo asks

"You'd better get some ice on that." Ryan added.

"We are headed to talk to Cesar Vales, we got a lead he was involved."

Slaughter strolls over to the gang. He looks Kate up and down like a piece of meat. Castle notices and doesn't like it.

"You ever get tired of boys, and want a real man we could go out."

Beckett gives him the glare and quips "Yea, in it ain'tnevergonnahappen land." She walks off.

Slaughter grunts and heads over to the elevator. "Let's roll writer boy"

Castle tells the boys he will see them later.

"Not if you keep riding with Slaughter" Espo says under his breath.

Castle gives a small wave as the elevator doors close.

"Are you tapping that?"

Castle didn't like Beckett referred to like she was someone's property. "No, she is my partner."

"Shame, I hear there is a pretty little red-headed intern that works with the ME, that shit is barely legal."

That's it Castle had enough of this loud mouth asshole. He faced Slaughter and hit him square in the jaw.

"That barley legal intern's name is Alexis and she is my daughter."

"Okay, okay" Slaughter rubbed his jaw, for a writer he packed quite a punch.

The doors open on the elevator.

Castle and Slaughter headed to talk to Vales.

Kate returned to the bull pen after the coast was clear. She couldn't stand seeing her partner with the likes of Slaughter. "Guy's, Slaughter is headed to talk to Vales and his gang. He needs back up."

"We can track Castle's phone." Ryan pulled out his phone "He's headed south on 51st street."

"Let's go"

Espo pulled his phone out. "Dispatch, this is Detective Esposito I am going to need uniforms sent to this location." Espo relayed the address.

Slaughter and Castle were surrounded by members of the Vales gang. They were out numbered, and outgunned. The gang didn't care they were cops.

Espo walked up to the scene. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He was talking to a gang member who was reaching for his gun.

Fifteen of NYPD's finest were right behind him.

"Relax officer, we were just talking here." Cesar Vales flashed a phony smile.

Ryan called out to Castle. "Over here"

Castle retreated to behind the line of officers.

Slaughter slapped Vales on the back "See you around" he headed to join Castle.

Slaughter was about to pass Espo "He is a civilian, what were you doing going in with out backup?"

"I had everything under control" Slaughter slapped Espo on the back.

Ryan stepped in, he knew his partner was about to deck all 6' 4" of Slaughter "Hey Espo, he is not worth it man."

Slaughter headed to his car. Castle followed.

Castle was realizing Slaughter was a reckless renegade. He didn't uphold the law; he made it up as he went along. The writer was missing his partner. Kate was tough as nails, but she upheld the law. Slaughter endangered himself and others he didn't play by any rules. The only way he could use him as a muse, would be what not to do.

The day was just about over, when Slaughter spotted a member of the Vales gang by himself. He grabbed him and slammed him against the car. "So, your boss took out Glitch."

"No, man I don't know nothing"

"Is that right, here let me refresh your memory?" Slaughter thru the kid into a nearby trash truck. "Maybe this will help you remember." Slaughter lowers the handle to crush the load of trash.

The kid starts screaming "I swear, I swear I don't know 'nothing."

"Not good enough" Slaughter presses the lever more.

The kid is still screaming.

Castle heads over to stop this, he can't let Slaughter crush the kid.

Slaughter stops. "I've got a better idea."

He pulls the kid from the trash truck and half drags half carries him to the car. He opens the trunk and throws the kid in. "Get in" he yells at Castle.

Slaughter does donuts in the parking lot. The kid is getting slammed around in the trunk. He races forward and then slams on the brakes. The kid is taking a beating in the trunk of the car.

Slaughter stops the car and opens the trunk. He pulls the kid out.

The kid ducks and puts his hands in front of his face. "I don't know anything."

Slaughter leans in his voice menacing. "You have a little brother in Juvenile detention in the Bronx. One phone call and he's transferred with the big boys. Nice young man I'm sure he'd make friends real quick."

The kid is scared. "Okay, what do you want?"

"I need a witness, one who saw Vales cap Glitch."

Castle was livid; he couldn't believe Slaughter would blackmail this kid into witnessing a murder. He was trying to come up with a plan.

"Well Castle, time to visit your buddies at the twelfth." Slaughter thru the Kid into the back of the mustang.

They headed to the twelfth.

Slaughter took the kid into one of the interrogation rooms.

Castle went to find Beckett.

Kate was putting the case files she would use in court into a banker's box. She gone over the case and felt she was ready to testify.

"Kate, you have a minute?"

"What's up Castle?"

"Slaughter is crazy."

"Did you figure that out all by yourself?"

"Okay, I deserved that. You have to help me."

"It's not my case Castle"

"He's using a kid to frame a guy."

"Who?"

"Cesar Vales."

Kate went to her desk she pulled the information the boy's gathered. "His car was passing through the toll booth at the time of the murder. The boy's ran the plates it's Vales car."

Castle looked at the photo, "It t looks like Vales, can't tell for sure."

Castle and Kate headed into the observation room. They watched as Slaughter "interrogated" the witness. It was apparent he was coaching him, to tell the version of the story; to make it fit the murder.

When Slaughter came out Kate was waiting.

"He didn't do it." Kate handed him the photo.

"This proves his car was there not him, you can't tell. This is my shot at taking a criminal down; so what if he didn't do this. He has plenty of bodies we haven't found." Slaughter wasn't backing down.

Kate shook her head. Slaughter headed out of the precinct, he didn't ask Castle to tag along.

"We need to find out who killed Glitch." Kate turned to face Castle

Castle just realized Kate had his back "So, you've helped me all along?"

"No problem, Castle. That's what partners are supposed to do."

Castle smiled "Let's go back to the beginning, back where Glitch was shot."

Castle headed out of the precinct with his real partner.

The dynamic duo figured out Glitch made a phone call from a payphone by the subway tracks. He'd called his dad Brian Reilly. He came and instead of helping his son out of one more mess; he shot and killed him.

Cesar Bales was cleared of Glitch's murder, Beckett warned him to vacate her city; if he didn't he would find out what the full force of the NYPD was all about.

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Back at the precinct

Slaughter punched Castle in the gut on his way out of the Twelfth. "That's for not having my back"

Castle doubled over, the punch knocked the air out of him. He was leaning against the wall recovering when Kate walked up.

"Castle, can I talk to you?" Kate ushered Rick into one of the observation rooms.

"I'd like for you to come by my place tonight. I need to talk to you." Kate's voice was shaking. She didn't want to mess this up.

"Kate, I've been thinking, I think I've got enough…

Nooooooo Kate inner voice was screaming he's leaving if he leaves you'll never see him again. She did the only thing she could think of. She pulled him into her for a kiss.

Castle was in shock, his body betrayed him, he responded to her. He kissed her back.

He wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. Her mouth was open and she was moaning in his mouth he didn't want to stop kissing her. God he'd waited for her for so long. She felt so good.

His brain kicked in. NO not like this. You swore you wouldn't give in you wanted more.

Rick pulled back and released Kate, "No, I can't…I've wanted you for so long…At first it was all I wanted, but not anymore. I need more from you. I can't do this."

Castle turned and left a stunned Beckett in the observation room.

It took Kate a couple of minutes to regain her bearings. "Castle wait"

The elevator doors were closing, she saw Castle was leaving.

"Detective Beckett a word" Captain Gates summoned her into her office.

"Shit" Kate headed into the Captains office.

Castle headed home, he had just walked in and hung his coat up. Alexis came into the living room. "Dad I found the letters from the colleges."

Castle was so busted; he'd been saving the letters to give to all at once instead of one at a time. He felt that way she wouldn't be as upset if the colleges she wanted didn't accept her application.

"I was accepted to Stanford, but I don't know if I still want to go after they rejected my first application."

Castle was relieved she wasn't upset with him. "I guess the question is….do you want it badly enough to get over being hurt?"

He will be asked the very same question in the near future...


	3. Chapter 3

Sit down detective Beckett"

Kate sits in the chair across from the Captain's desk. She tries to concentrate. Her thoughts are with a certain writer who left. Kate wants to go to him to explain; she hopes she gets the chance. It takes everything she has to sit still; her heart is telling her to run, do not delay one minute longer.

"What is going on with Mr. Castle? The captain continued on without letting Kate reply to her question." I do not like this Slaughter, coming in to our precinct, running around like he owns the place. "What is Mr. Castle thinking, going around with Slaughter; his reputation is less than stellar."

Kate was about to answer when Captain Gates continued.

"Granted, I wasn't Mr. Castle's biggest fan; he has proven himself to be a valuable member of our team. I want Slaughter gone today."

Kate was waiting for the Captain to stop talking so she could respond; every time she was about to speak the Captain continued with her rant.

The captain returned to her desk before she sat down she looked over her glasses and said "Clean this mess up, today." The Captain sat down at her desk and began shuffling papers; Gates removed her glasses and laid them on her desk. "Kate, I don't know what happened between you two; I know that Castle loves you, and I suspect you love him too. You need to go and fix this now; do not come back here until you do ten days mandatory vacation." The Captain signed a slip for Kate to turn into Human Resources for vacation pay.

Kate got up from her chair she accepted the slip, and said "Yes sir, I'll take care of it." Kate was shocked the Captain was aware the duo was more than partners, even though Kate and Rick hadn't acted on the emotions it didn't change the fact; the feelings existed between the two. She did a run walk out of the Captain's office and straight to the elevator. Kate would stop on the third floor and turn in her vacation slip to HR.

Espo and Ryan were hanging around; they wanted to find out what was going on. Beckett was losing it. The detective only acted this way when something was going on with her and Castle. The boys kept quiet; while Castle and Beckett each tried to run from fate. Destiny brought them together, there was no turning back; even though the pair tried to deny the bond that tied them.

Kate tried to hide in no where relationships, Castle dated ex-wives, and bimbos.

Kate punched the button to call the elevator; she turned and faced Javi and Kevin, "I'm going to take some time off." Kate was nervous she'd only admitted her true feelings to Laine: the hell with it, if Gates knew the boys certainly did. "I've screwed up guys, I…I hope it's not too late." Kate cleared her throat. She was not going to cry. "I'm going to get Castle back,…If he will have me." The doors to the elevator dinged. Kate gave the boys a small smile and stepped into the elevator, she punched the third floor button and the lobby button.

Javi nodded and commented "It's about damn time."

Kevin added "He is in love with you, go get him back"

Kate nodded as the elevator doors closed. She closed her eyes, as the elevator descended. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Kate felt Castle slipping away with every tick of the clock. The doors finally opened to the third floor. Kate stepped out and headed to the HR's office.

"Hey, Vickie" Kate handed the vacation slip over the receptionist.

"Hi, Kate." Vickie read the slip ten days vacation starting tomorrow. She was surprised, the detective never took time off, one or two days max. It was about time. She made herself a mental note; check the date she'd picked in the precinct pool, for when the Dynamic Duo would finally seal the deal. Vickie was hoping the time off was related to Castle; Rumor was there was trouble lately with the writer and his muse.

"Thanks, Kate you're all set, enjoy your vacation." Vickie handed Kate the conformation slip.

"Thanks Vickie." Kate took the slip and headed back to the elevator.

Once Kate finally made it out of the precinct, she was focused. She hailed a cab. (The crown Vic would stay at the station while she was on vacation). Kate gave the driver Castle's address. She'd asked the driver to hurry. When the cab pulled up to the loft, Kate handed the driver a fifty. "Keep the change" She was out of the cab and headed into the lobby of the loft before the driver registered what was happening.

"Thanks lady" he said as he drove off.

Kate punched the button on the elevator.

Eduardo was heading back to his post. "Good afternoon Ms. Kate"

"Afternoon, Eduardo." Kate gave him her best smile. The elevator dinged. Kate stepped in. She was only a few floors away from Castle.

Eduardo tipped his hat to the lovely detective.

Kate sprinted to Castle's door. She couldn't shake off the sense of urgency. She felt the clock was ticking, and she was running out of time.

Kate took a deep breath and knocked. She waited a minute she knocked louder_. I wonder if Eduardo warned him I was coming, maybe he doesn't want to talk to me. _Kate thought. To hell with that. "Castle open up I need to talk to you."

The door opened. Martha was standing there.

"Katherine , he isn't here."

"Martha, please….I have to talk to him." The tears were forming in Kate's eyes despite her best efforts.

"Come in dear." Martha moved aside and ushered Kate into the loft.

"Do you know where he is?"

"I think we need to talk" Martha was protecting her son. She'd seen the highs and lows Castle went through in the name of Katherine Beckett.

"Can I get you something to drink? How about a nice glass of wine?" Martha held up a wine glass.

Kate declined, "No, thank you. I really need to find Castle."

Martha poured herself a generous amount in her glass. She sat the bottle back onto the bar, and then thought she might need more, she grabbed the bottle and headed into the living room. She made herself comfortable in one of the wing chairs, and motioned for Kate to sit.

Kate didn't want to sit, but she knew Martha knew where Castle was and she held the key to the gate. Kate would have to convince her to relinquish the key.

Honesty was the best policy. "I….I….Oh God, Martha I've screwed everything up."

Martha took a sip of wine; she motioned with her hand in the true diva fashion, for Kate to continue.

"When Castle came to see me in the hospital…..after I'd been shot….I…I told him I didn't remember the shooting. That is was all a blank…... I lied."

Martha nodded.

"I remembered everything that happened that day. I wasn't ready to hear….to face everything that happened. I wanted to be better, I wanted to be normal. It was only after months of therapy that I could even face a lot of what happened that day." I was suffering from PTSD."

Martha placed her wine glass on the coffee table. She interlocked her fingers together. "Kate, the last thing Richard heard from you was you'd call. He waited. You didn't call. He was in torment. It made it worse knowing you were with Josh. Oh, darling it killed him knowing you were hurt and he couldn't help you heal. Richard doesn't do anything half way. He is either all in or, all out."

Kate nodded "He heard me Martha, He heard me admit that I lied to him in the hospital. I told a suspect that I remembered everything that happened the day I was shot; so I knew he was lying to me that he didn't remember…. I didn't….I wasn't with Josh. I went to my Dads cabin and stayed. My Dad was there for the first week, and then he left.

"So you heard him tell you he loved you." Martha raised one eyebrow just like Castle does.

"Yes" Kate hung her head, seeing the same facial expression made her feel worse. "I didn't know if he said it because scared, or he really meant it."

"Katherine, I call bullshit. You've known for a while Richard loves you."

Kate picked up her head Martha said "Loves" not loved.

"I love him too." A single tear escaped from Kate's eyes.

"Darling, I know you do. You need to tell Richard." Martha stood and went over to embrace Kate.

"Oh, Martha I made such a mess. Will he ever forgive me?"

"Katherine, Richard loves you. He's hurt, He's upset. You're going to have to make him hear you; he has a very forgiving heart."

Kate stepped back from Martha.

"He is at the house in the Hampton's. He wanted some time. He didn't want Alexis to see him distraught over you once again."

"Martha, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt him."

"Tell that to him dear." Martha sat down and picked up her wine glass she took a drink. "Oh, let me give you my Key to the house, It's going to be late by the time you arrive…Katherine, Richard has been through hell and back because of you. It's time to fix it or end it." Martha went and retrieved the key from her purse. She held Kate's hand after she placed the key into it. "Richard can't ride the emotional roller coaster anymore. It's time to let him off the ride."

Kate nodded and wiped the tears from her face. "I'm going to tell him the truth. I want him, only him, he is my one and done. Thank you Martha." Kate kissed the diva's cheek, then she headed out to make things right. She only hoped she wasn't too late.

Kate caught a taxi to her apartment. She packed a few things hurriedly; Kate was taking the Harley she wouldn't have room for much. She dressed in her leathers. The temperature was already falling, layers would be prudent. She grabbed her full face helmet at least she could keep the wind off her face. Kate grabbed her insulated leather gloves on the way out the door.

The drive was around two hours according to Martha and the directions she'd given Kate. _I should have already gone to the Hampton's _Kate thought. Castle took his ex-wife instead. He didn't know she broken up with Demming so she could go with him.

Water under the bridge, Kate knew she had one shot. She decided she would lay everything out; she wasn't going to hold back. Kate's bike roared to life. It was time to go. She flipped the shield down on her helmet. Kate took off. She was planning on the trip taking an hour and a half tops.

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	4. Chapter 4

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Castle's tongue was softly caressing Kate's; she was moaning in his mouth. His arousal was becoming painful. He moaned Kate's name. I need you, Love. Let me show you how much. The writer was imagining all the ways he would demonstrate his desire for his beloved Kate.

"Castle" Kate said softly

"Umm come 'ere let me love you." Castle mumbled burying his head into his pillow.

"Castle" Kate said again a little louder, she placed her gloved hand on Castles bare shoulder.

Castle's brain was sending him a message "_Cold, oh that's cold….is this the ice trick_? Castles eyes flew open. "Kate, KATE….what are you doing here." He was awake now. The gloved hand that touched him was like a block of ice. Castle switched on the lamp by his bedside. A circle of light cast off a warm glow.

Castle saw a frozen detective by his bed. He had seen that look before.

Kate was so cold; the Harley ride wasn't a smart decision; but then again the detective wasn't thinking with her head, she was led by her heart. She was trying to keep her teeth from chattering.

"I …I cammme to ttalk to you." She couldn't stop shaking.

"Did you ride a dog sled over? Kate you're freezing."

"Bikke"

Castle couldn't believe it. The nurturer side of him kicked in. "Get in" Castle scooted over and opened the covers.

Kate was so cold she couldn't think clearly. She climbed into the bed, boots and all.

Castle pulled the covers over her. He moved closer and began to rub her arms trying to generate some heat into her frozen limbs. He pulled her gloves from her fingers, they were frozen. Castle mutter a curse under his breath, He held Kate's hands to his bare chest to warm them up.

"We need to get you warm." Castle had dreamed many times having Kate in his bed. He could honestly say this one didn't make the list. "I'm going to light a fire." Castle got out of bed; all he had on was his batman boxers, which were stretched tight from his previous dream. He didn't even think about any of it. He was on a mission. Kate was hurting.

Castle lit the massive fireplace in the bedroom. The fire ignited behind the anchor. _Think _he thought, _Okay move the loveseat closer to the fire_; task complete. Castle turned and stoked the fire. The logs caught, now the fire was roaring; he felt the heat radiate from it; time to get Kate. He could hear her teeth chattering as he got closer to the bed.

"Kate, lo….ummm…. we need to warm you up. Can you stand up? Castle cringed he'd almost slipped out the word love.

Kate mumbled something.

Castle leaned over and picked her up, he carried her over to love seat, gently laying her down. He returned to the bed and pulled the comforter off, returning to Kate. He knew he needed to remove her frozen clothes. Normally Castle would be thrilled to see her decked out in black leather. Right now he wanted her shed of it, so she could warm up. Castle removed her boots, and then he removed her outer wear; he stopped when he reached her Cuddle Duds underwear. (Alexis wore them too; she'd said _they kept her warm_.)

Castle's thoughts drifted back in time. He recalled the time they were locked in a freezer. Kate almost died that day. He wanted to die too. He didn't want to live in a world she wasn't a part of. He knew after that experience he was in love with the detective. His heart would never be the same. He wanted Kate in his life always.

Ryan and Espo pulled them back from the brink when they opened the door to the freezer. Castle was grateful the boys saved them; but he wanted to be the one holding Kate and comforting her.

She received comfort from Dr. Motorcycle boy, not him. He went back to the loft alone and tried to warm his body and breaking heart. He'd held Kate in his arms, they were both dying; He felt content. That was just wrong on so many levels. He knew he couldn't live this way.

The final straw came when he heard Beckett tell the suspect she remembered. That's when he realized he needed more. He deserved more. It didn't change the fact that he loved Kate body and soul. Castle was waiting for a dream that was never going to happen, despite his desire for it to. He couldn't stick around and watch her be with someone else.

Deep in his soul, Castle wanted Kate to be happy. Dr. Motorcycle boy was perfect on paper. Tall, good-looking, humanitarian, a Doctor, okay a surgeon; yeah he hated him, but if he made her happy, Castle didn't like it, but he would live with it. He just couldn't be there to watch. He'd settled for years taking what ever crumbs he was thrown. He knew Kate cared about him, just not in the way he needed her to.

Castle snapped back to the present, he needed to attend to Kate.

He wrapped her into the down comforter. "I'm going to get you something warm to drink." Castle looked down at Kate. She looked adorable, snuggled in the comforter. _God, I love her_ Castle sighed as he turned and headed for the kitchen; halfway there he realized he was in his underwear. _Screw it _he thought _it's not like I was expecting company_**. **Castle's mind was spinning. He didn't think he could write such a bizarre scenario. _Kate Beckett was here, in his bedroom, nearly naked….yes, but frozen, _the logical side of Castle's brain kicked in. Then panic _Oh my God, has something happened to Alexis or his mother?_ Castle reached for his phone. Right! He was in his underwear. Phone is on the night stand, beside the bed. Old school then, Castle picked up the land line and dialed the number to the loft.

One ring, two rings, then finally on the third ring. "Hello." Answered a very groggy Martha.

"Mother is everything alright, are you and Alexis okay?" Castle looked at his watch, 2:30 he was surprised his mother was in bed. She was generally just getting home.

"Of course we are darling, why would you think we weren't?" Martha yawned loudly.

"Kate is here, she is frozen like a Popsicle. I thought she came to tell me one of you was hurt." Castle rushed through his explanation. He needed to find out if everyone was alright.

"No, dear" Martha was a little more awake. "She wanted to talk to you. I told her you were in the Hamptons….oh; I gave her my house key."

"Right….what does she want to talk about?" Castle was racking his brain. _If she is here to tell me she is marrying Dr. Motorcycle boy, I'll wrap her up and drive her back to town tonight_. Castle mind was spinning theories he didn't like any of them. His mother's voice brought him back to the here and now.

"What? I'm sorry Mother I didn't catch that." Castle needed to focus.

"Darling, you are going to have to ask her. Good night Richard"

"Goodnight Mother." Castle held the phone in his hand for a few minutes. He heard the signal screeching so he hung up.

Castle was trying to decide on coffee, tea, hot chocolate. He decided hot chocolate, it was late chocolate seemed right. The writer busied himself with preparing the chocolate he warmed the milk. While the milk was heating he got out the marshmallow cream, no stale marshmallows for him. Castle spied the bag of gourmet cookies. "Yes perfect". The writer finished getting everything ready. He placed the mugs of hot chocolate laced with a generous dollop of cream, and the cookies on a tray. He headed to the bedroom. He was cursing himself for buying such a large home. He still had a long way to go before he reached the master bedroom.

Kate was thawing out. She wrapped the comforter tighter around her; it wasn't from the cold she was trying to bring Castle's scent closer to her. It was comforting. Kate was about to drift off when she heard Castle return to the bedroom. She tried not to chuckle as she heard him curse as he stubbed his toe on something. _I will kiss it better_. Kate surprised herself with the thoughts running through her head. She heard rattling, Kate turned to see Castle carrying a tray over, and place it on her lap. That's when she noticed her partner was wearing a pair of Batman boxers and nothing else. Kate felt heat spreading through out her body. _I've always loved Batman_. Kate let her brain run free.

Castle kept his body mostly hidden, he shouldn't. Kate was enjoying the view. His arms were massive, she'd never noticed before, she'd seen his large hands, felt his hands before; Hell she'd been wrapped up in them_. I wouldn't mind being in them right now_. Kate felt her cheeks heating up.

Castle noticed Kate was looking at him. He'd gotten a lot of looks from Beckett over the years. This one he didn't recognize at first, then it dawned on him. It was desire. _Wow, that's new_ he thought. "I think I'll put on some clothes. I…I wasn't expecting company." Kate thought he sounded almost apologetic. She responded with "I don't know Castle, I'm kinda' enjoying the view." She came here to talk to him. She was going to be honest.

Castle was stunned, he looked at Kate again; he wanted to make sure it was really her. "I'm…going…. to go over….I'll be right back." The writer felt like he was in an episode of the twilight zone…_no wait invasion of the body snatchers_. What in the hell came over Beckett. Castle grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of comfy jeans. He may or may not be aware, that he'd noticed her checking out his backside in said jeans before. He quickly dressed, and then he headed over to the loveseat.

Kate, rarely saw a speechless Castle, he was adorable.

Castle stood by the fire. Kate opened the blanket, "Please sit with me." Castle moved the tray and sat down beside Kate. He held up the tray while Kate wrapped the comforter around them. This confirmed it; _Invasion of the body snatchers_. That had to be it, Castle thought. Right now he didn't care. He handed Kate a mug of chocolate.

They sat side by side watching the fire, sipping the chocolate. Castle was dying to know why she was here, but he wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answer. "Cookie?" Kate accepted the cookie; Castle swore she deliberately caressed his fingers as she took the cookie from him, maybe it was twilight zone, he didn't know, right now he didn't care. He drank his chocolate and ate his cookie. Right now he was happy.

"Castle we need to talk" Kate looked over her mug at him.

Happiness is a fickle commodity, here one minute gone the next.

Castle would at least; have another stolen moment to file away in his memory bank. He felt he would need it; he was anticipating dark days ahead. The writer might have to hide out in the Hampton's longer than he first anticipated.

Castle swallowed the last of his hot chocolate. "About what?"

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You made my day.


	5. Chapter 5

Still not mine.

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No guts no glory,

Kate kept repeating this to herself like a mantra. Okay here goes truth time.

"The day I interrogated Bobby Lopez," Kate pauses to look at Castle, (The detective interviewed hundreds of suspect she'd gotten quite good at reading people.) She saw the truth in his eyes, Castle knew. He'd heard her. Kate cleared her throat, she continued. "I think you over heard me tell him something."

Castle was fidgeting looking everywhere but at Kate, He was dreading this, but he had to know why she lied, he needed to know the story, when Castle raised his blue eyes to look at Kate, they were filled with dread.

Kate knew for certain. "I know you heard me admit that I remembered everything that happened at Montgomery's funeral, the day I was shot. I yelled at Bobby because I knew he was lying to me, about remembering, because I remembered.

The hurt was washing over him, Castle wanted it to just go away he didn't want to hear this, but he knew he needed to, if he ever wanted to move forward, he would have to endure the pain. Why couldn't they just sit and enjoy the hot chocolate forget everything else. He braced himself. He nodded.

"Castle, why didn't you ask me about it?" Kate was searching his face for answers.

"Because I knew why, Okay, I didn't want to hear from you what a big fool I was. I followed you around for years like a puppy, waiting for a bone. Hell, even my Kid thinks her old man is pathetic." Castle ran his hand thru his hair. He wanted to punch something; he wanted the pain in his heart to go away.

Castle paused and then continued "Every time I…I thought we had a chance, something or someone would come between us. I kept hoping that we would get together, and then I finally realized it was never going to happen. You lied to me because you've never felt that way towards me." Castle hung his head. He couldn't bear to look at Kate

"Castle look at me." Kate's heart was breaking she'd cause this all of it." Look at me, please!"

Castle looked up; he was taken aback by the desperation of Kate's voice. He was surprised to see tears running down Kate's cheeks.

"Castle, I have made such a mess of things….the day I woke up in the hospital, I was hurting so much, the pain was excruciating, and when I saw you I was so relieved to see you, to see that you were okay, but then I remembered you telling me you loved me. Oh God, the look on your face Castle." Kate started crying again. "I wasn't sure if you regretted it, if...If you said it because you thought I was dying. I was so confused Castle. So….I lied, then I told you I'd call…. I wanted to call Castle, I couldn't. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I needed time. "

"Kate, I would have given you anything you needed. I waited for three years; you don't think I could wait a few months. You ran." Castle was so angry, he was shaking. He couldn't keep the venom from his voice "So, did Dr. Motorcycle boy help you recover? Castle shook his head. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that it's none of my business."

"Castle you can ask me anything. I won't lie to you. I want you to understand why I did what I did. I'll answer your question; no Josh did not go with me to my Dad's cabin. I broke up with him before I was discharged from the hospital. My Dad drove me to the cabin, and then he returned to the city after a week; by then I could get around by myself. It was still painful but I managed."

Castle was elated Josh was not at the cabin with her, and then he felt guilty about her being there all alone. "Kate I wanted to be there to help you. It tore me apart day after day waiting by the phone. Hoping today was the day you'd call. I would have done anything for you Kate."

"I've screwed things up royally; I've been going to therapy for months. Kate studied Castle's face. You should hear Dr. Burke he keeps telling me to….you'd like him Castle, I think he wants to meet you."

Castle was puzzled, "Meet me why?"

I've told him all about you, about us, about where I want to be. I... I Kept waiting until I reached a place I felt like I wanted to be. I wanted to be whole, not broken. Dr. Burke helped me see there isn't a perfect time, life is full of twists and turns you just have to live it."

Kate was desperate for Castle to understand, hell she still didn't understand, but with Dr. Burke's help she was getting better. She wanted to be better for him. "Castle, I've built walls around my heart, when my Mother was murdered. I was so lost. I didn't have any one to talk to. My Dad was drunk all the time. Suddenly I'm the parent taking care of him. I never healed Castle, I was nineteen when my world came crashing down, almost the same age Alexis is now. Neither of them spoke for a while.

Kate voice was quieter "I became a cop to find justice, to find closure so that I could finally live."

"I thought I had everything under control." She bit her lower lip. "Then you came along. I never told you I…was a fan; I even joined your website. Your books help me Castle. I've read them over and over. I took them with me to the cabin. The world made sense when I read your books. They helped me through a dark period in my life."

Castle was listening; it hurt him to hear that she'd suffered too.

"I kept a journal…the time I spent at the cabin. I'd like for you to read it. I brought it with me. I know it doesn't excuse what I did, but I hope it helps you to understand why."

Castle spoke so quietly Kate had to stain to hear him. "I'd like to read it."

Kate nodded, "I'm glad. Umm, could I take a shower? I still feel chilled."

"Of course, do you want to shower in here?" Castle pointed to the en suite bath "Or there is a bath down the hall."

"Here is good. Do you have something I could sleep in?"

"So…you're staying?" Castle asks. He rubbed his chin; he wasn't sure where this was going.

"Unless, you want to kick me out? I have ten vacation days. I would like to finish our conversation; I think it might help if you read the journal first."

This is not how Castle expected to spend his time in the Hampton's. He was expecting to mope and try and end the emotional roller coaster he'd been on the last three years. "You're right, I...I….talking is good."

Castle got up, he helped Kate up. "Everything you need should be in the bathroom." He went to find something for Kate to sleep in.

"I left my bag in the hallway by the front door. The journal is in there. Castle, when you get the journal could you bring the bag? My toothbrush is in there."

Okay, wow Castle's brain was reeling. He heard the water turn on in the shower, so he headed to retrieve the bag with the journal ,Kate's journal. She'd asked him to read it. He was still nervous. He'd never read anything Kate penned. She'd just admitted being a fan, although he'd noticed a while ago his books lined her bookshelves. He could tell she'd had some of them awhile.

When he retrieved the bag, he was confused. She'd said she was off for ten days. There was no way this little bag held ten days worth of clothes. Either she left in a hurry, or she planned on doing some shopping.

Castle headed back to the master suite. He still needed to get Kate something to sleep in. He began to search through his drawers. He selected his favorite green lantern t-shirt. He would love to see Kate in it, He remembered a dream he'd had involving the detective wearing this shirt. He didn't have pajamas he slept in his boxers only. He wasn't sure what to use for bottoms. Maybe she had something in the bag.

Castle pulled out the journal. It wasn't very big, it looked like a planner. He opened it. He recognized her handwriting, Kate had beautiful penmanship. Her writing flowed across the page. Castle felt guilty, and then he remembered she'd asked him to read it. He added another log to the fire, and sat on the loveseat and began to read.

Her thumbed through to get to the first entry. He noticed the date. It was a week after she'd left the hospital, right about the time her Dad returned to the city.

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Day 1: alone

Dad returned to the City. He didn't want to but I insisted. I need the time alone, the pain isn't as intense. I can at least move around the cabin. I have to go slow. I feel so helpless…

Day 2

It's raining the sky is gray, the pain seems worse today. I didn't move around much. I tried to find comfort in reading. I couldn't. It made me sad. I miss Castle.

Day 3

Today the sun was shining. I didn't stay in bed as long today. Still hurts.

Day 4

I dreamed of him. He told me he loved me. I wanted to tell him I loved him too. There was only darkness, I couldn't speak.

Day 5

Castle where are you? I need you. I cried all day. This is pointless.

Day 6

I read some of his words today, His writing always comforts me. I hate this helpless feeling.

Day 7 one week.

Today I sat on the porch. It was nice to feel the sun on my face.

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Castle, did you find anything for me to sleep in? Did you find my bag?

Castle jumped at the sound of Kate's voice, he laid the journal down and headed into the bathroom with the shirt and Kate's bag. "I have your bag." He called outside the door.

"Bring it in." Kate called out.

Castle hesitated. He slowly opened the door. Kate was wrapped in a towel drying her hair. He stood unmoving.

Kate walked over to him she reached for her bag. She saw the shirt and took it from his arm. She held it up "Green Lantern nice, my favorite is Batman."

Castle didn't trust himself to speak; he turned and headed back into the bedroom, He bit his knuckle to keep his inappropriate comments to himself. The sexy detective would be the death of him yet. Castle returned to the loveseat, and sat back down. He picked up the journal and held it in his hands. He was afraid to read anymore. He wanted only to focus on the ILY. He'd waited so long, he was afraid he would read later on, that she loved him like a brother. For a guy, it was the worst phrase a girl you desired could say to you, it forever locked you in the friend zone.

Kate stepped out of the bathroom; she was wearing the t-shirt and nothing else. The shirt fit her like a sleep shirt it hit her about mid-thigh. Castle's eyes were drawn to her long legs. She had great legs.

He'd expected her to admonish him for staring; instead she did a little twirl around, then she came over and joined him on the loveseat.

Kate could see Castle was bleary eyed. He didn't kick her out and they were talking, she decided she'd chance it. "Castle"

"Hum" her words, the ones she'd written in the journal repeated over and over in his head _I Love Him Too_

"I think we should get some sleep, we can talk more tomorrow. I promise to answer any questions you have. Nothing is off-limits. All I ask in return is for you to be honest with me." Kate looked at Castle.

He could tell, she meant what she was saying. "Okay, there are several rooms to choose from. Alexis and Mothers rooms are upstairs." Castle stopped when he saw Kate shaking her head no.

"I'd like to stay with you." It came out of her mouth more like a plea.

"Kate, as much as I want to have you in my bed, I'm not ready to…" Kate put her fingers on his lips.

"To sleep Castle, I will keep my hands to myself."

Castle wasn't convinced that this was a good idea. He'd dreamed of having Kate in his bed but, he wasn't going to accept crumbs anymore. He wanted it all or nothing; he would accept nothing less from her.

Kate could see Castle was struggling. "Please"

"To sleep." Castle repeated.

The writer wasn't ready. Okay he had been ready to have sex with Kate the first day he laid eyes on her, but now he wanted more than that, and he couldn't let himself settle for any less.

"To sleep, no funny business." Kate held her breath until Castle nodded his head.

Kate picked up the comforter Castle picked up the other side. They went to work making the bed so they could crawl into it. They'd always worked well together. Once the bed was made Kate climbed in on her side. She'd already seen where Castle slept, she'd awaken him.

Kate felt like doing the Snoopy Dance. He wasn't kicking her out of his home, or his bed. She knew she still had a lot of explaining to do but, she had ten days. Castle would know where she stood; the rest was up to him.

She climbed into bed,

"I'm going to get ready for bed" Castle headed for the bathroom and stopped "I don't have any PJ's …I usually sleep in my boxers. I ….I guess I could sleep in sweat pants.

"Castle your boxers are fine." Kate plumped her pillow and turned on her side. Good night Castle.

Castle turned and headed into the bathroom. _Well she's already seen me in my boxers _he thought. Castle's brain was overloaded he just wanted to get some sleep. He would get to hot in sweatpants, he decided to stick with the boxers. He entered the bathroom, used the toilet, and then washed his hands and face, and then he brushed his teeth and switched off the light. He headed to bed.

Kate was laying facing away from his side of the bed. She looked like she was already asleep. Castle contemplated, and then he decided to shut off the light before he undressed.

He got into bed. Exhaustion took over and he was soon asleep.

Castle awoke he was hot. It took a moment for his brain to register what was going on. He was spooning Kate. Castle's right hand cradled Kate's left breast, her hand was covering his. He was so dead. Wait her hand covered his. Okay, he knew for certain it had to be _Invasion of the body snatchers._ Castle was on his side of the bed. Kate came over to his side! Castle slid his hand down to Kate's stomach. He was going to gently remove his hand, slip out of bed, and then go to another bedroom. Kate grabbed his hand and placed it back on her breast. She was fast asleep. Castle didn't know what to do. He was so tired. It was late. He fell back asleep. Castle had a dream, Kate had told him she loved him, and he'd reached second base.


	6. Chapter 6

Kate was awake, she'd slept soundly. The detective couldn't remember the last time she's slept through the night; she suspected it might have something to do with a handsome mystery writer sleeping beside her. She felt safe.

Kate discovered her warmth was due to being wrapped in Castle's embrace; she was the little spoon. The writer's large hand covered her breast, and her hand covered his. "Wow, Castle you made it to second base, and you're not even awake to see it."

Kate didn't want to move, she felt lightness, a rightness being with Castle, and she'd really love to stay in bed with him, and cuddle, but she wanted to express her gratitude. An idea popped into Kate's head. I can bring him breakfast in bed. Castle brought her thousands of cups of coffee over the years, he watched over her; made sure she ate, if she wouldn't take a break from a difficult case. If she wouldn't stop and go out for lunch or dinner. Castle would bring the food to her.

He was always taking care of me. He never asked for anything in return. Kate couldn't believe how selfish she'd been. Kate closed her eyes, and made a vow; if you let me Castle, I'll take care of you too. She only hoped she'd get the chance.

Kate gently removed Castle's hand from her breast, and scooted over to her side of the bed. She didn't want him to wake up. He needed the sleep. Kate was accustom to getting a few hours of sleep a night. Her writer needed more.

Kate was inching her way out of the bed. She'd put one foot on the floor, the other foot was poised mid-air. Kate froze, when she heard Castle moan. Kate planted the other foot on the floor and turned back toward the bed. She watched as Castle nuzzled her pillow, she waited. Once his breathing evened out, she tip-toed over to retrieve their dirty mugs from last night, and the bag of cookies, Kate quietly placed everything back on the tray. Each time she made a noise she would pause and look towards the bed. Making sure Castle was still asleep, and then she would continue. The tray was loaded. She headed toward the kitchen.

"Wow, Castle this place is huge." Kate arms were tiring; she was still walking down a long hallway. "Aha." She'd finally reached the kitchen. She sat the tray on the counter. "At least I don't have to be quiet."

It was dark when Kate arrived to Castle's "Little Place "in the Hampton's. "Little, my ass" This place was huge. Kate walked over to the kitchen windows. The view was breathtaking. Kate had always been drawn to the ocean. As she stared out, she thought back to when she and her Dad snuck out of the wake they'd held for her Mother. They'd slipped away to Coney Island, and strolled along the beach. The ocean waves soothed her broken heart.

She chuckled, thinking back at Castle's attempts to guess the origins of the stick man he'd found after poking around in her desk at the precinct. A smile spread across the detective's face as she recalled how much his caring meant to her.

Kate wiped a tear. "I can't change the past, but I can damn sure try to change the future. Kate filled the mugs from last night's hot chocolate with water. It would take time to soak off the dried gooey cream stuck to the sides. She puttered around the kitchen in Castle's Green Lantern T-shirt.

Kate took stock of the fridge. She found the items she needed. Kate wasn't the least bit surprised. Castle kept his fridge fully stocked, as well as the pantry. The Castle clan wouldn't go hungry if they were to ever be snowed in, or face any other emergency. Like a Zombie invasion. (Castle was the master of the outlandish theories.) That was one of the things that made her love her Man-child.

If you opened the cupboards in Beckett's apartment, you'd find coffee, and another container of coffee. The fridge had several science projects growing in it. A few containers of take-out dried beyond recognition. Condiments that had passed the expiration date. A couple of bottles of wine and some bottled water. The odd thing, Kate loved to cook, she was an excellent cook. She hoped that was about to change. If Castle could forgive her, she'd have a family to cook for.

Once Kate had all of her items assembled, she searched for the coffee. Castle was quite the Barista; he had several kinds of gourmet coffee beans. They all needed to be ground. Kate didn't want to make that much noise. She found a can in the fridge, it was ready to go.

Kate stopped in her tracks, when she moved the orange juice; she found her brand of coffee creamer. It was unopened. She swallowed to get the lump out of throat. "Was he hoping that I'd come?" Kate hoped that was it.

Kate needed coffee; she measured out the grounds and added it to Castle's fancy coffee machine. "Okay let's see if this works." Kate pushed the button. She waited, and then the coffee started brewing. "Yes" Kate did a little shimmy. She really liked her coffee.

Kate began to prepare breakfast; she wanted everything to be perfect. The bacon began to sizzle, time to prepare the batter for pancakes. (The boy's told Castle, that pancakes were a way to say thank you for last night.) Kate was definitely trying to thank Castle. She came to talk to him, and he ended up taking care of her again! She whisked the eggs, and decided to scramble them rather than prepare an omelet.

Kate grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup; she retrieved her creamer and added it to her coffee.

"Umm, so good" Kate finished preparing breakfast.

Castle was beginning to wake up, he yawned and stretched. He remembered waking up and his hand was on….Kate! Castle scanned the bedroom he didn't see her. He listened, to see if she was in the bathroom. The journal was still on his nightstand. Castle got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. He relaxed a little when he saw her bag on the counter. He figured she was in the kitchen in search of coffee. He decided to get into the shower. Castle stripped off his boxers and turned on the shower. He adjusted the water temperature and stepped in. It didn't escape his attention; just a few hours ago Kate was standing where he is right now.

He'd invited her to come here once before, she'd been with Demming. Castle didn't feel a threat with him; the real threat was Dr. Motorcycle boy. Castle scrubbed his head harder. His sense of dread was returning. Castle finished up in the shower, he needed answers.

Castle dried off; he tucked the towel around his waist and went into the bedroom to get dressed.

He almost ran into Kate. He stopped right before he plowed right into her. "Sorry, I'm uh…I was just about to get dressed.

"I was bringing you breakfast in bed." Kate admitted sheepishly.

"Smells good, how about I meet you in the kitchen, there is a breakfast nook where we can eat. I'll just be a minute." Castle was stressed, he'd dreamed of moments like these. He never thought he would live to see the day when Beckett would bring him breakfast in bed. He didn't understand what was happening. He'd opened himself up to the possibility of Kate being with him before, only to have it crushed at his feet. He needed to understand what was happening.

When he saw the disappointment in her eyes, he almost called her back. He needed to maintain control. He couldn't take any more pain associated with the loss of Kate from his life.

Kate nodded, she tried to mask the hurt she felt, then it hit her she'd dashed Castle's attempts to do something nice for her countless times. This is how he must have felt. Kate wasn't feeling very good about herself right now.

"Suck it up" Kate was thankful Castle was going to eat breakfast with her; it just wouldn't be in bed. That's okay; she didn't realize it would make him uncomfortable.

Kate had just arrived back into the kitchen; she was unloading the tray on the table in the breakfast nook. Caste was right this was a nice spot. She was still unloading the tray when Castle walked in. She was about to say "That was fast," until it dawned on her he wasn't carrying a heavy tray full of food. He would be faster than her.

Kate felt under-dressed. Castle was wearing a dark blue button down, and jeans. He'd rolled the sleeves up. He looked so good. (The shirt brought out the blue in his eyes)

Castle held out the chair for Kate, she sat down. Castle sat down beside her. "This looks great."

"Thanks, let's eat" Kate passed Castle a plate of food and a mug of coffee.

Castle and Kate ate breakfast, the conversation was light. Castle seemed distracted. He was polite, but Kate felt like a guest. She wanted to feel like a partner.

"Thank you, for this." Castle finished his food quickly. "I'll clean-up"

"No, no please Castle let me. I'd like for you to read the journal; so we can talk"

Kate didn't know if Castle was going to leave the house, or stay, so they could talk. She fought back the tears. This is exactly how Castle must have felt. She left him hanging countless times.

"Okay"

Kate looked up; she was trying to squash the panic she was feeling. "Okay?"

"I'll go and read the journal." Castle stood and headed toward the bedroom.

Kate sat for a moment, she didn't want to cry. She needed to suck it up. She began to gather the plates.

Castle returned to the master suite, He made the bed, and then he returned the loveseat to its original position. He finally admitted to himself that he was stalling. Part of him wanted to read, and part of him said you're only going to get hurt.

Castle grabbed the journal, and headed to his office. He preferred his office at the loft. This was better. He could avoid the use of this office a lot easier than the one at home. (In case the journal confirmed his latest fear.) Castle propped his feet on the desk and opened the journal.

* * *

Day 8

I slept for three hours last night. I hate having to take the pain medication. I can't go without it yet. I wish I could sleep more. Castle is always there in my dreams.

Day 9

It's quiet; I wish the thoughts in my head were. I hope Castle is okay. I can't let him see me. I'm such a broken mess. I don't think he would be proud of his muse. I panic at the least little noise, then hide under the covers and cry. I don't know if I want to be a cop anymore. I don't know who I am.

Day 10

I knew I was dying, when Castle pleaded with me to hold on. I was trying so hard. I wanted to stay awake. Everything went black. I knew I couldn't hold on any longer. I didn't see my life flash before my eyes, I only thought of the things I regretted, the things I didn't do: I never told Castle I loved him. I never told him I thought the first kiss was amazing too. I never told him I wanted him to make love to me in LA. I never told him he was my one and done. My other regrets: That I never solved my Mom's case. That I never forgave my Dad completely for his drinking. Those were the last thoughts I had. When I woke up, all I felt was pain. God, I wanted to know if Castle meant it when he told me he loved me.

* * *

Castle laid the book down, he couldn't read the words they were blurry through his tears. He never realized the pain Kate endure physically and mentally after the shooting. She needed him and he wasn't there. He was pouting, thinking the whole time she was with Josh. Kate was correct in her first assessment of him, he was an ass. He got up; he needed to talk to Kate.

Castle found her standing in front of the windows staring out at the ocean. "Kate" he called out in a choked voice

She turned, Her eyes were red, Castle could tell she'd been crying.

Kate looked at Castle, she saw the hurt, he had tears running down his face. Kate moved toward him and froze. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to comfort him.

Castle opened his arms, Kate ran into them. They stood in the kitchen holding each other. Both of them were crying.

* * *

Have a great week-end

Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

Castle and Kate held onto one another. Both of them were fighting their own demons.

Kate was lamenting all the time lost, time that she should have spent with her one and done. She was terrified Castle was going to tell her to "Go to hell." She wouldn't blame him. "How could I have been so selfish, so stupid? Everything I ever wanted has been standing in front of me for the last three years.

Castle was racked with quilt. He'd never have left Kate's side if he hadn't been such a coward. He should have gone to the cabin, even if Dr. Motorcycle Boy had been there he should gone, He should have at least tried to make her talk to him. He'd never listened before when Kate told him to stay put and wait for her. Why did he listen this time? She'd counted on him to be there. He'd let her down. Castle held Kate tighter.

Kate held onto Castle as well, it was as if neither one wanted to let go. For fear the other would disappear. Castle's phone began to ring.

He hated to, but he had a child. Every parent in the land couldn't ignore a ringing phone.

Castle loosened his grip on Kate, He held on with one hand as he reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone, he glanced at the screen. "It's Alexis"

Kate started to pull away, Castle pulled her back to him. Kate stayed. She rested her head on his chest. Standing bare-foot she was at least three inches shorter than Castle. Her head fit perfect under his chin.

"Hello, Pumpkin."

Dad, are you okay?

"Yes, Pumpkin I'm fine."

"Dad you don't sound fine. Is Kate there? Gram said she to the loft looking for you. Do you need me to come up there?"

Castle rubbed his free hand up and down Kate's back. He was pretty sure the detective could hear both sides of the conversation. He didn't want her to worry. "Kate is here, she arrived last night. I've ask her to stay for a few days. We have…umh...things we need to discuss."

"Gram, said Kate was upset, Dad are you sure you're okay? You don't sound okay."

"Everything will be resolved by the time I return to the city. You needn't worry. Tell Gram she did the right thing."

Alexis wasn't sure what to think, her Dad sounded confident, but she also knew that Kate Beckett was the one person who could bring him to his knees. "You will call if you need anything won't you?"

Castle chuckled, "I promise." He was trying to assure his daughter he was alright.

"Okay, well I've got a paper due for English Lit. If you're sure you are all right." Alexis was ready to go and rescue her Dad if she was needed.

"Go! Do your home-work, I'm fine….I love you, Pumpkin." Castle used his most reassuring voice he could muster. He appreciated his daughters concern, but right now he needed to talk to Kate, he didn't want any distractions or interruptions. They'd had enough of those to last a lifetime. Moments that couldn't ever be recovered.

"I love you too, bye" Alexis hung up the phone. She turned to Gram who'd just entered her room. "Dad said to tell you, "You did the right thing"

Martha put her hand on chest, "Oh thank goodness."

Alexis looked puzzled.

Martha waved her hand back and forth, "Don't worry kiddo, your Father is a big boy he can handle it."

"But…"

"I told Katherine where to find Richard; I gave her my Key to the house." Martha waited for her confession to register.

"Oh, so you thought Dad might be mad at you." Alexis was getting the picture.

"After looking at the poor girl, I knew she needed to talk to Richard, and God knows he needs to hear it."

Alexis decided she'd wait and get the rest of the story from her Dad. She wasn't entirely sure she really wanted to know everything. If her Dad was alright that was enough for now. She grabbed her books and opened up English Lit. , she had a major test to study for. Thanks Gram. Alexis hugged her grandmother.

Martha headed down stairs. She needed a glass of wine. It was five 'o'clock somewhere.

Castle hung up his phone, and slipped it into his pocket. He recalled last night when he was searching for his phone in his boxers; it seemed like a long time ago.

Castle wrapped his freed hand back around Kate. Kate looked up at him as he embraced her.

"So, you heard?"

Kate nodded.

Castle nodded back.

"I could use another cup of coffee. How about you?"

Kate smiled at him "Sounds good" She was so relieved he was going to let her stay. He'd told Alexis "they had things to discuss."

Castle released Kate, he headed over to the coffee machine. "I think we need the good stuff" Castle realized what he'd said and added quickly "Not that the coffee you made this morning wasn't good. I just meant that I will grind the beans for a fresher brew."

Kate came back with, "What's the matter Castle, my coffee taste like a monkey peed in battery acid?"

"You said that, I didn't" Castle retrieved a bag of special roast coffee beans from the pantry. He was on a mission to provide Kate with an outstanding cup of coffee.

Kate rolled her eyes, she was smiling. She cupped her hand under her chin. She loved to watch Castle in the Kitchen. He moved with grace, and ease. She was enjoying watching his facial expressions. Kate decided Castle had a bit of his Mother's Diva style after all.

The mood was a little lighter. The realization that each of them were suffering eased the tension and lightened the mood. They were both here, they had time, and no one was running away.

Castle handed Kate a cup of fresh brewed coffee. He'd noticed she'd found her coffee creamer. Castle always kept a bottle around just in case. He couldn't remember how many he'd thrown away, every time the expiration date passed; he'd buy another bottle just in case. That was one of the things he'd planned on doing this trip. Get rid of all things that reminded him of Kate. The creamer was on the list.

"Let's go into the living room." Castle placed his hand on the small of Kate's back; she didn't need guiding he just wanted to touch her. She knew where the living room was she had to pass by when she'd brought him breakfast in bed.

Kate sat on the sofa; she tucked her long bare legs under her, and then she grabbed a pillow and placed it on her lap, and then took a sip of her coffee. "Umm this is so good." Kate took a deep breath, she was trying to release some her tension; she was wondering how far into the journal Castle read. He'd been so upset when he came to find her.

Castle couldn't help it. A large smile spread across his face. He enjoyed bringing Kate coffee, today and the days prior at the precinct. Her face would light up, and she would smile in that special way. He felt that smile belonged to him. She didn't use that particular one for anyone but him. (That's what he'd convinced himself of anyway.) He was so nervous; he still had so many questions. His writer's mind needed to fill in the holes in the story. He knew: Kate went alone to the cabin after breaking up with Josh. (He was elated over that tidbit of news.) She suffered from PTSD, She'd wanted him to join her at the cabin, and last but not least, she admitted (On Paper at least) that she loved him. When Castle read "one and done" he knew he didn't fall into the love-you-like-a-brother categories, but still his list with the things he didn't know was longer.

Castle cleared his throat; he sat his coffee cup on the coffee table. "I've read the journal, not all of it" he quickly added. He paused. He was trying to come up the right words. "I came upon a particular passage Day 10. Castle recalled in his mind what he'd read earlier.

_I only thought of the things I regretted, the things I didn't do: I never told Castle I loved him. I never told him I thought the first kiss was amazing too. I never told him I wanted him to make love to me in LA. I never told him he was my one and done_

When Castle read the passage, his heart was flooded with emotion, and his eyes flooded with tears. It was as if he'd finally received validation, it was real. He had not imagined something that wasn't there. He felt: relief, joy, and heartbreak. He lamented the lost time. Castle was resolved to discover the truth. No more hiding. What ever happened he was going to get answers.

He was trying to formulate a plan; he wasn't sure how to ask the questions he wanted to know. Kate avoided anything serious, or ran from him in the past whenever he tried to define their relationship.

Kate was watching Castle, she was so used to studying people's faces as they spoke, trying to learn from what they didn't say as much as what they did. (She wasn't even aware she did it.) She sensed he was struggling, he was treading lightly. This wasn't going to work; she needed to put him at ease. Kate grabbed his hand. "Castle, I meant what I said earlier you can ask me anything I will answer, no matter what it is, all I ask is you do the same."

Kate squeezed his hand as reassurance.

Castle nodded, and then continued. "The first time we kissed, undercover. You kissed me back." At first it was just a kiss to distract the guard, but then I felt you respond, that kiss was amazing Kate. I never wanted to stop kissing you, but you were with someone else, so I couldn't" Castle was still trying to get the nerve to start asking the real questions, the ones that burned a hole in his brain. Castle's heart was pounding. Okay here goes. "When we were trapped in the freezer you were going to say something to me, before you passed out. What was it?"

Kate looked at Castle; she wasn't going to hide anymore. _The truth will set you free. _"I...I was going to tell you, tell you I loved you." Kate's fingers absently ran along the seam of the pillow. She was trying to keep her hands occupied; If she didn't she was going to reach for Castle. He wasn't ready.

Castle nodded his head, and then he closed his eyes. He was overcome with emotion. Three long years; he'd waited for any conformation, a sign, that he wasn't the only one who felt something. All of the times Alexis urged him to give up, "It's never going to happen." The looks of pity he'd received from his mother when he was hurting over Beckett. He knew, what he had with Kate, was something people waited a life time for, some never found it. They settled. Castle settled in the past, twice. (He wanted to be with someone,) he swore he'd never "settle" he would rather be lonely than not have what he felt for Kate. That's why he never gave up. He kept his eyes closed as she continued.

His heart needed to hear her words.

Kate wanted to explain.

"Castle when we were locked in that freezer, I thought that was it. I didn't think we were going to come out alive. I was so glad that I had you with me. I realized that I was in love with you. I had been for a long time. Her voice was breaking. Kate wanted him to feel how deep her feelings were for him.

"You were right when you told me I hid," Kate spoke softer "I've hidden in relationships with Men that I didn't love, but I was scared." It wasn't Kate's proudest moment admitting she'd used more than one man, knowing full well she didn't want a relationship with them; she didn't want to be alone. She'd never been "in" the relationship to start with.

"The day you first came into the precinct to shadow me. I couldn't believe it. My favorite author was going to ride around the streets of NY with me. I had read and re-read all of your books. When my Mom died it was such a dark lonely period in my life." Kate paused and wiped a tear from her face. "Castle your words were such a comfort to me. She looked at him with UN-shed tears. I found justice, and hope when I read them. They are what kept me from going."

You were always pushing your way into my personal life. I'd gotten so used to hiding, it unnerved me to have you read me like one of your books. Castle I'd never had a relationship where the guy knew everything about me. I didn't allow them in."

"It wasn't until I saw you with Alexis that I began to see another side of you. The real you, not the "Richard Castle" the general public saw, with a bimbo on his arm. I saw Richard Castle the author I knew. The one, whose words inspired me, and comforted me, I saw a man who was caring and giving, who would stop at nothing to protect the ones he loved. I'm not sure of the exact date, but I knew that we'd evolved into more than just partners."

"Geese Castle I was jealous, for the first time in my life. I couldn't stand it, to see you with other women. It made me crazy. When you'd show up with a bimbo on your arm, I wanted to tear her hair out and scream he's mine back the hell off." I would go home and scream into my pillow. Kate stopped talking, she felt like she was blathering on and on. She would jump from one thought to the next. Words were spilling from her. She waited for Castle to absorb everything she'd said.

"I wanted to be the one holding you, comforting you when we got out of the freezer." When I saw Motorcycle boy (Castle knew he was being petty, he couldn't call him by name.) I knew I'd never get the chance." Castle opened his eyes and looked at Kate.

Kate wanted to remove the uncertainty in Castle's eyes. She wanted him. He was her one and done. She was tired of hiding. She wanted real, she wanted Rick.

Kate nodded; "I wanted you to comfort me too." She was nervous, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was trying to sort everything out. I couldn't deny that I was in love with you anymore, but I was in a relationship that I didn't want to be in... I…I was so distracted, Josh got so angry with me he left. I was alone too. That was a hell-of-day Castle." Kate paused, she was about to reveal another shocker. "Josh knew…that I was in love with you." Kate cleared her throat. "He accused me of cheating on him with you. I didn't…..but I wanted to." Kate looked into Castle's eyes, she needed to see that he was hearing her. "The night we were in LA I wanted you to pick me up and carry me to the bedroom, rip off my clothes and make love to me all night. I had some wild dreams of you that night. I've dreamed of you a lot.

Kate Beckett was blushing. Castle couldn't believe it. He thought it was adorable.

For years he'd waited to hear Kate's inner thoughts. Castle was in shock. He wanted to know more, but he could tell she was exhausted. He'd worked side by side with her for years. They were partners. He knew her "Tells" she'd never admit to anyone that she needed to rest. He knew. He'd watched her.

"Kate, I think you need to rest."

"…but I want to talk, to explain to…."

"Kate" He interrupted her. "We have time; I need to process the things you've said."

Kate nodded. She knew Castle had a lot to process. She'd opened the flood gates to her emotions that she'd kept hidden, for years. She hit him with wave after wave of truths. She wished she'd done it sooner.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Castle helped Kate up off the couch. She unfolded her legs and placed her empty coffee mug on the table. Kate was surprised when Castle kept hold of her hand as they walked toward the master suite.

It was late afternoon. She didn't realize how tired she was until Castle pulled back the covers and tucked her in. The bed was so comfortable; her eye lids were already getting heavy.

Castle looked down at Kate; he smiled as he saw her snuggling under the covers. He didn't think, he leaned down and covered her lips with his. Kate kissed him back. Her lips were seeking his; she deepened the kiss and began to pull him to her. Castle broke the kiss before he passed the point of no return. He'd wanted her for three years, but he needed to know exactly where they were headed first. He touched his forehead to hers and whispered "Sweet dreams"

Castle pushed the remote to lower the blinds, as they lowered, the room darkened. Castle retreated from the bedroom, before Kate could object.

It didn't take long for the detective to fall asleep. Kate was warmed by the Kiss, not just physically but mentally as well. He was hearing her.

Castle stood and stared out at the ocean he was going over the conversation he'd just had. One thing of the most surprising things to him was that Kate had suffered too. She cared. He knew now he wasn't in this alone. They needed to fix this He knew he needed to finish the journal, and so He headed into his office.

Castle picked up the journal from the desk. His heart was lighter. He was almost convinced that Kate loved him too. He needed to be certain. If he'd misunderstood, this would kill him.

* * *

Day 11

I like to sit on the porch. I'll wrap up in a blanket and sit. I can't seem to warm up. I sit and watch down the road. I keep hoping Castle will show up. I know I told him I'd call but when has he ever listened to me. This is the one time I hope he doesn't.

Day 12

My Dad came today, he brought supplies I needed more bandages. He brought more food. He brought a cup of coffee from town, I appreciated it, and I just couldn't drink it. It didn't seem right. Castle is the one who brings me coffee. I miss him.

* * *

Castle ran his hand over the page in the journal. It was puckered and stained; it looked like tear-drops. It made his heart hurt.

* * *

Day 13

I was going to try and wash my hair today, big mistake. I nearly passed out from the pain. I looked at my scars in the mirror; I was horrified to see long angry red marks all along my side and a hole in the middle of my chest. I'm such a mess…how could Castle ever look at me with desire? He's not going to want me now. Not like this.

Day 14

Two weeks I thought I'd be better. He's not coming. I've broken him along with myself. I'm done.

* * *

Castle thought only he'd suffered, he knew now that Kate suffered too. He was so angry at himself and at Kate for pushing him away. "Why didn't I push back?

Castle laid the journal on his desk. He sat back in his chair.

Castle spent the next couple of hours thinking reflecting upon the past and the things Kate revealed to him written, and by her own admission.

He remembered what he'd said to Alexis. "Do you want it bad enough to get over the hurt?"

Castle knew there was only one answer to that question. Hell! yes.

He came to the realization they could only heal with the help from each other.

It was time.

He had plans for his partner.


	8. Chapter 8

First step in his plan. Food. Neither had eaten anything since breakfast. It was almost dinner time. Castle picked up the phone. He was going to order in. Spending time cooking wasn't on the agenda right now. He would cook for her, he wanted to cook for her, just not tonight.

He hung up the phone. Castle looked at his watch, he had around forty five minutes before the food arrived. It was time to wake-up his muse.

Castle headed to the bedroom. The room was even darker than before, the lateness of the day prevented the waning sun from penetrating the blinds. Castle stood for a moment to acclimate his eyes to the dim light.

He walked over to the bed. He loved seeing Kate is his bed. It was better than any of his dreams. This was real.

The mattress dipped slightly, as Castle sat on the edge. Kate was still asleep. She looked so peaceful He hated to wake her. He stroked his long fingers along Kate's cheek; he was gently running his hand up and down her face. He'd never tire of looking at her; he'd wanted to be her "One and done" for awhile. It was time to wake her up. She needed to eat.

"Kate"

She stirred when he spoke, but then she buried her head under the pillow.

Castle chuckled, "Kate he said a little louder. You need to wake up dinner will be her in half an hour.

Kate didn't want to wake up; she was enjoying her self. Her writer was caressing her with those large capable hands of his. They'd come in from a sunset walk on the beach, and then made love the rest of the night. Exploring & satisfying each other…in her dreams anyway.

Kate was stretching her long limbs under the covers; she couldn't believe how well she rested. She felt refreshed, only she needed a shower. "Okay, I'm up."

Kate opened her eyes to find Castle's blue ones staring back at her. Her heart leapt, the tortured look was gone from her writers face; it was replaced by one that was "hopeful?" Kate began to sit up; she was getting ready to get out of bed.

Once Kate was sitting up, Castle slid off the bed to allow her to slide out.

"I'm going to take a quick shower, and get dressed."

Castle nodded.

"I'll meet you in the living room." Castle turned to head out, and then he turned back around and grabbed his muse. He kissed her. With the unbridled passion he'd reined in over the years, he didn't hold back, she moaned into his mouth. Castle released her as quickly as he'd grabbed her. He strolled out of the bedroom. He left a stunned detective in his wake.

Kate opened her eyes; she was reeling, still trying to catch the breath that Castle had taken away with his kiss. She shook her head, and smiled. She rolled her eyes and said "Castle" She didn't think her heart would survive without him. She hurried to the bathroom to shower.

Castle just finished setting up for dinner. When his doorbell chimed. "Ah, dinner has arrived" He retrieved his wallet. He opened the door.

"Hey, Mr. Castle" Benny Jr. said. He passed the bags of food to Castle.

"Hello, Benny." Castle accepted the food.

"Pop said to bring in the "moose" for dinner next time. He wanted to meet her"

Castle had thought of his Muse in numerous ways. A "Moose" was new. He chuckled.

"Tell Chef Benevento, I'll do just that." Castle handed him a tip. He tipped him with a "Benjamin" The restaurant didn't deliver. Chef made an exception for Castle. (His wife was a fan.) The Chef was more than happy to oblige Castle. Chef wanted to help Castle win the heart of his muse. Life was nothing without family and love.

Benny. Was Benevento's youngest son. He was more into surfing than helping out at the restaurant. He was a good kid. He'd chosen a different path than the other members of the Benevento family, the others helped out in the restaurant.

"Thanks!" Benny noticed the one hundred dollar tip.

"Thank you, and tell your Dad." I owe him one.

Castle headed to the kitchen with the bags in tow. It smelled wonderful.

* * *

_The menu:_

_Pan-fried Scamorza with Arugula Salad and Two Pesto's_

_Primo_

_Blood Orange Risotto_

_Secondo_

_Swordfish Sicilian-style_

_Dolce_

_Affogato_

* * *

Castle stored the Affogato in the freezer. He snapped his fingers "Wine." He retrieved a bottle of Sancerre from the wine fridge. "Perfect" He rubbed his hand over the label. This was their favorite.

Restaurant a' la Castle was set up in the living room in front of the fireplace. Private dining. Castle didn't want to use the nook in the kitchen, he wanted to move forward. The nook this morning reminded him of the tension he'd felt earlier.

Castle had covered the round table with a white linen cloth. He'd placed the plates and utensils on the table earlier. He didn't want to add the food until Kate was out of the shower. He was looking around to see if he'd forgotten anything when Kate walked into the room. She'd always taken his breath away. Tonight was no exception. It wasn't that she was dressed to the nines. She wore Jeans and a simple button down shirt. She was barefoot.

It was the relaxed look on her face he found mesmerizing. She looked as if she belonged…Finally.

Castle motioned for her to sit. Kate shook her head no. Castle was puzzled until she said. "We are partners, I want to help."

Castle's smile lit his entire face. His eyes crinkled in the way that Kate loved.

"Very, well after you..." The couple went into the kitchen and returned with the gourmet meal.

"This smells wonderful" Kate's mouth was watering. She wasn't one of the women who nibbled on lettuce and proclaimed they couldn't eat another bite. She enjoyed eating. She trusted Castle's taste. He knew her, what she liked, what she didn't. He had her try new things all the time.

Kate returned to get the rest of the evening meal; Castle stayed behind and uncorked the wine. He was pouring them a glass as she returned with the food.

Castle handed Kate her wineglass.

Castle held up his glass to toast. "To new beginnings"

Kate touched her glass to his "And Love"

Wow, Castle made a mental note; he was going to check the gardens tomorrow for the pods. (It had to be invasion of the body snatchers) He was convinced that was the reason for Kate's openness; the I'll answer anything Kate. He liked it.

Castle seated Kate, and then sat down.

Kate was hungry, this meal was outstanding. She loved Risotto. Dining a 'la Castle's was perfect; intimate, safe and no interruptions.

She wanted to be in a committed relationship with him, before they went out in public. If a bimbo came to bother him, she could tell them to back off, and be justified in doing so. That's want she wanted to do, but Kate was never going to push fans away from him, but she could give them the look, the he's mine look. She didn't have a problem with that at all.

Castle love to watch Kate, it didn't matter what she was doing. He delighted in discovering hidden quirks and mannerisms. He'd made a good living studying people and writing about them. The result; he wrote part truth, part fantasy it enhanced his story. Kate was his favorite subject.

Castle reached over and wiped sauce from beside Kate's lip with his thumb, and then he sucked the sauce from his thumb instead of wiping it on his napkin.

With the dreams of sex still vivid in her brain, Kate used every ounce of self-restrain she possessed, not to devour his lips right then and there. Desire burned thru her. He was driving her insane. She fanned herself.

Castle smirked. He could feel the desire radiating from her.

Okay two could play this game. Kate unbuttoned a couple of buttons as she continued to fan herself.

Castle cleared his throat and squirmed in his chair.

"Gotcha" Kate smiled. He wanted her too.

They finished dinner.

"We have Affogato for dessert."

"Oh, that sounds good… do you…..could we wait until later?"

Castle nodded.

Kate began to clear the plates. Castle bundled up the empty containers and headed to put them in the trash.

It didn't take long for the two to tidy up. Castle topped off their wine and they headed into the living room.

Kate took a seat on the sofa, Castle sat down beside her.

They sat sipping their wine. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. They were enjoying being together.

"Kate….I've been thinking." Castle paused to look at her.

Kate's look was one of encouragement.

"I want to move forward, in order to do that I need to know what you want. Where do you see us going? How do you see us?

Castle was getting that sinking feeling again. He couldn't read the look.

Kate paused; she was searching her brain; to find the words to explain. Castle was the wordsmith. She was a cop….. Okay, she can do this…deep breath…..

"I want to be in a relationship with you; an 'exclusive' relationship. No more bimbos or motorcycle boys."

Kate ducked her head. Kate used Castle's name for Josh. He was a good guy; he just wasn't the guy for her. She lost her heart along time ago. A writer, who'd weaseled his way into her life, claimed her heart... Kate wanted Rick with all of her being, but she was laying her heart on the line. She was scared. The fear he would reject her was weighing heavy on her heart. (She was feeling: the same fears Rick experienced over and over. She didn't like it one bit.)

"I am in love with you Rick". Kate's eyes were filled with tears. When she lowered her head they spilled. "I want us; I want to be with you, only you." Kate looked up. I want us be partners in every way." Her voice was shaking. "What do you want Rick?

"Dammit! Kate." Castle jumped off the couch.

Kate's eyes grew wide.

"Son of a bitch! Castle continued his rant he was pacing up and down. He ran his hands through his hair.

Kate looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She couldn't move. She froze.

It's about fucking time!" Castle raised his hands to the heavens. "Finally!"

…years of containing his thoughts and his feeling were over. He was finally free to express his desires, his dreams. It felt fucking great! (He was about to show Kate how much he'd held back.)

Castle felt like jumping for joy. She'd said the words. The words he'd longed to hear from her. The words; that healed years of scars from old boyfriends, and missed opportunities.

Castle released his breath in a long slow whoosh. He felt like he was expelling years of frustration and hurt, and then he saw Kate's face.

"Oh, no….no…no, come here" Castle was going to assist Kate off the couch; instead he ended up jerking her to her feet and smashing her against him. He hadn't meant to be so aggressive. He blamed it on the surge of adrenaline. His body was pulsating with it.

"I am in love with you too; I have been for a very long time." Castle rocked Kate side to side as he held her in his arms.

"So, does this mean our friends know about us?" Castle wanted definition.

"The boy's already do, they told me to bring you back after I'd talk to Gates."

"Gates knows?"

Kate nodded. "She gave me the time off, to come and find you. She ordered me to fix it", by the way she doesn't want Slaughter any where near the twelfth."

"Me neither." Castle grimaced. He unconsciously sucked in his stomach.

"Do you think Alexis and Martha will ever forgive me?"

"Kate, they love you too. Alexis will be grateful, that her old man is no longer "pinning".

"I'm sorry Castle, I'm glad you waited, I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Kate, no more regrets. We go forward from here. I need you to do something for me."

"Okay"

"I want you to show me your scars."

Castle felt Kate tense, he kissed her head, and then she began to relax. She stepped back and began to unbutton her shirt. (Thank goodness she'd already unbuttoned two)

Kate started with the bottom button, she was nervous. She looked at Castle for support.

She continued her courage was bolstered by the look of love in her writer's eyes.

Kate finished the last button.

Castle slid the garment from her shoulder and helped her release her arm from the sleeve, he did the same with the other sleeve. Kate stood before him in her bra and jeans.

Castle took his time. His eyes scanned over her curves, taking in every inch of her. God she is beautiful. He raised his hand to touch her scar, where the bullet entered her chest. He paused and asked for permission with his eyes.

Kate gave him permission with a simple nod.

Castle lovingly placed his hand over her heart he closed his eyes. He was so grateful she'd lived. The scars for him were an affirmation of life. She'd survived. His eyes saw a badge of courage, he felt they only added to her beauty, and so he told her.

* * *

Okay, do you want more?, or it it time to end?

Thanks for reading

Mamoo


	9. Chapter 9

Kate stood before Castle naked, although she wore her bra and jeans. She'd never felt more open and vulnerable. Her eyes were closed.

_She'd closed herself off at nineteen, after her mother died. Her carefree spirit was crushed. Overnight she became an adult, receiving phone calls in the early morning hours, to come and pick up your drunken father. The more she took care of her father the more she retreated into herself. It was the only way she could cope. Thru the years it became a habit. She didn't know any other way to live. _

_Her writer was the first person who'd ever bothered to look past the persona she'd presented to the world._

_She'd had her fair share of attention from men. She'd had many describe her as: Hot, pretty, gorgeous. (She'd even modeled to pay the bills.) She found it amusing; it was easy to hide from someone who was only looking on the outside. They'd never 'seen' her. _

_Castle was different than anyone she'd met. He'd pestered her to learn her story. He constantly nagged her to share information with him. She tried to hide from him. He wouldn't let her. He'd unnerved her on more than one occasion with the things her 'knew' about her. _

_When she'd first met him, she was pissed off. She'd loved his books, his words inspired her. What she seen when she first met him was an arrogant ass. She couldn't believe the man who could write the words he did, would be such a tool. Kate discovered he wasn't. He was hiding too. _

"Kate, you are Beautiful." Castle removed his hand and tenderly kissed the scar. "I see before me a fierce warrior, a protector of the wronged, a survivor. "You are more beautiful today, because of the scars. They represent the battles you've won. They are a reminder of your strength, for the battles yet to come. You are extraordinary.

Kate listened to his words. The soothing timber of his rich deep voice reached into her and comforted her soul. She loved this man. He was a beautiful person.

She opened her eyes.

Castle cupped his hands on either side of her face. He gently caressed her lips with his. The kiss was tender. Kate felt the love radiating from him. He moved his hands into her hair. His tongue stroked hers. Every nerve in Kate's body was coming alive. She leaned into her writer. Castle lowered his hand to embrace her. His strong arms surrounded her small frame.

Kate's body was flush against a solid hunk of man. All 6' 2" of him. She was consumed with desire. Felt it was time To move forward in their relationship. They were more than partners it was time for them to become lovers.

"Castle" Kate whispered

"Umm"

"Make love to me" as Kate looked up, she bit her lower lip.

"All you ever had to do was ask" Castle ran his finger down her face and traced his thumb along her lips.

When Kate bit her lip like that, he came undone.

"Kate" "You do realize that once we make love. I will need more, for example: move in together, get married, have kids, if you want children. I want it all, or we can elope right now."

Castle's mind switched gears; he became animated in his excitement. "Fly to Vegas, ooh... I can arrange to have our friends and family flown in." The more Castle talked the more he wanted it to happen right now!

Kate smiled, she ducked her head. Life with Castle would always be an adventure.

"Babe, how about we start off small: perhaps go out on a date? I don't think Alexis is ready for me to move into the loft. She is still upset with me, and she has every right to be."

"I promise, I'm in this, I'm not running. I want you and only you. I love you Rick."

Castle didn't hide his disappointment about the Vegas wedding, but then he perked up knowing he was about to make love to his beloved Kate for the first time. He realized she was right, there were a lot of people involved in this relationship, and it wasn't just the two of them.

Castle leaned in and kissed Kate. She responded, when she began to moan the waiting was over. Castle scooped her up in his arms. He carried her into the bedroom. He laid her across the bed.

His heart was pounding, excitement coursed through him. He'd wanted Kate from the moment he'd first laid eyes on her; looking back he was thankful she'd turned him down. Getting to know one another, loving each other; would elevate their lovemaking to another level. Castle didn't want sex with her. He wanted to make love to Kate. That's exactly what he intended to do….. Right now and forever after.

Kate was so ready. Her fantasies ran the gambit with her writer. She'd imagined making love in the shower, on the beach, on his desk in his office, her kitchen table. She almost laughed out loud when she discerned her first time with Castle would be in a bed, maybe it was fitting after all. She dreamed of him while she was in her bed.

When Castle began to make love to her she realized why he'd wanted her in the bed. He was going to touch and pleasure every inch of her. The fantasies she'd had in the past didn't even come close to Castle's warm muscled body making contact with hers , the way he'd held himself over her before joining them together was erotic. He was stronger than she realized. He wasn't holding back anymore. . A generous and skilled lover. Kate's breath was litterly taken away, several times.

Kate returned the favor; she'd touched, and explored every inch of her writer's body. She was learning his muscled body inch by pleasurable inch, noting the things that made his toes curl.

They were made for each other. Their bodies fit together perfectly. As if there'd ever been any doubt.

It was late, when they both fell asleep, exhausted and sated.

Kate woke up first; Rick's arm was draped across her chest. He was lying on his stomach. Kate was lying next to him on her back. They'd met in the middle of the bed. It was 3: oo am.

Kate's bladder woke her; she slipped out of bed and used her phone to light up a path to the en suite bathroom. After her trek to the bathroom. (She'd stepped over discarded clothes strewn across the bedroom floor.) Kate picked up Castle's shirt. She slipped it on, and headed into the kitchen using her cell phone as a torch to light the way.

She remembered they hadn't eaten dessert. She opened the fridge to search for it. She was startled when her phone rang. She looked at the screen. Castle's smiling face was staring back at her. (He'd added the photo claiming names were boring, you needed to see who was called.)

"Hey babe"

"Kate, where are you?" Castle woke up and she was gone, he was frantic.

"I'm in the kitchen, hey where is the dessert from dinner?"

Castle was already out of bed and heading toward the kitchen his heart was somersaulting in his chest. He panicked when he awoke to an empty bed. He needed to see her.

Kate was moving items around in the fridge when Castle came up behind her and grabbed her. He spun her around and wrapped her in a bear hug.

"Oh thank God! Kate you scared the hell out of me."

Kate's heart fell; she had done this to him. Years of pushing him away and running, he still didn't trust she wouldn't run away. She would reassure him, however long it took. He would learn to trust his heart to her. She wouldn't break it anymore. She wasn't saying he wouldn't get pissed at her now and again. She never wanted him to doubt her commitment.

"Nice suit. I like it." Kate looked down Castle was nude.

"Someone took my shirt" Castle loved seeing her in his shirt.

"Aha, want it back?" Kate started to unbutton it.

"Only when we get back in bed." Castles voice held the husky timber of someone who was turned on.

"Hum, well Writer Boy, I want food before we attempt round four."

"Oh Kate," He chuckled as he squeezed her ass. You know now, it's definitely writer_ Man_.

"Okay, Writer Man." Kate kissed him and as she did she lowered her hand and grabbed onto her 'man.'

"Oooo…..cold hands, cold"

"Dessert?" Kate arched her eyebrow, that was the I'm serious don't mess with me look.

"Freezer" Castle pointed

Kate released her 'man' and opened the freezer. She spied the container of Affogato. She turned around and saw Castle standing with a spoon in hand. Grinning.

She grabbed it from him, and headed back into the bedroom. She wiggled her ass, just for him.

Castle contemplated starting round four here in the kitchen against the bar. When Kate was bending over retrieving the Affogato he had impure thoughts. He stood for a moment before falling in step with his muse.

He switched his phone on to assist lighting the hall for her. He was used to walking around in the dark here. He'd pinned over Kate many times, hiding away in the Hampton's. Sleep was fleeting when he and Kate were at odds.

When they'd made it back to bed. Kate popped the lid open. She raised the Affogato to her nose to smell. "Um, smells like coffee."

"Coffee and ice cream" I thought you'd like it.

Kate dipped the spoon in and took a bite. "This is better than…." As she was thinking she tapped the spoon against her lips.

Castle cringed. He was waiting for her to say sex. Then he looked up and saw she was teasing him.

Kate loaded the spoon with a generous portion for him. She opened her mouth when Castle did. It reminded him when he'd fed Alexis. He'd looked the same way. She was going to make a great Mom.

They teased and laughed and polished off the Affogato. Kate's face fell when they'd eaten the last bite.

"We can go into town and eat at Chef's restaurant. You can have more." Castle nuzzled behind Kate's ear.

We have a week to relax, make love, sight-see, make love, and dine-out, make love. It's too cold to swim, but this summer we can. If you don't want to go out we can stay in and…

"Make love?" Kate was so happy. She didn't want to go anywhere at this moment. She wanted to freeze time. This was perfect. She felt complete.

"_As you wish_" Castle wiggled his eyebrows.

They slept after.

Kate woke up, it was after ten. She looked over and Castle's side of the bed was empty. She was sitting up in bed when he walked into the bedroom.

"Good morning, beautiful." Castle came over to the bed and leaned down to give her a kiss.

Coffee, she tasted coffee.

"Breakfast is ready when you are."

Kate slept so soundly she'd never heard him get up. That was so unusual for her. She'd always been a light sleeper. This was new.

"Do you want to eat first or shower?"

"Eat," She needed coffee.

Castle came and helped her get out of bed. She was still wearing his shirt. They went and ate, after her third cup of coffee Kate felt awake. She was ready to shower.

"I'm going to shower."

Castle kissed her and began to wash up. Kate offered to help he sent her to get cleaned up. He wanted to go into town today and show Kate the town. Okay, he wanted to show her off. He was the proudest…he stopped what was he? _Boyfriend? _To old-fashioned. _ Lover? _No ones business. _Significant Other? To_ long_. Partner? _Well he already held that title he wanted _husband_…..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Castle couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He and Kate were walking and shopping in the Hampton's. Kate was actually letting him buy her things. She didn't bring many things with her, and she needed clothes.

He was totally in love with Kate Beckett. He only hoped the bubble didn't burst when they went back to the city. He wanted the world to see how happy he was. He wanted them to see Kate, she was glowing. Her face shone with happiness. It had been a long time coming.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you! for your comments & reviews.

I was blown away.

I am planning A couple more chapters and then an epilogue.


	10. Chapter 10

More Caskett before they head home to face their friends

* * *

Kate was elated. Castle was by her side. They were a couple. It had been a long time coming. For years they'd trusted each other with their lives, saving one another from: drowning, explosions, shootings, freezers, Tigers.

Partners who worked side by side everyday; but they'd never trusted each other with their hearts, until now.

Her hand was locked in his as they strolled thru the shopping areas.

Kate shook her head. She trusted Castle with her _life_, how could she make him wait. What had she been waiting for? She vowed to herself, she'd make up for the hurt

She felt as if her heart was unlocked, unrestricted. She'd exercised one of the demons from her past; where she was afraid to let anyone in. Castle had removed her walls brick by brick until she'd smashed thru the remaining ones when he'd left her standing on the other side waiting.

This time he'd ran.

* * *

Castle stopped and pointed to a restaurant. "This is where I ordered dinner from last night."

He looked at his watch." It's a little past noon, would you like to get something for lunch? I know Chef Benevento wants to meet the 'Moose'.

Kate raised her eyebrow.

Castle chuckled, "Don't worry, I still love you. Muse, Moose it doesn't matter to me."

Kate gave Castle the I'm about to twist your ear look.

He knew that look, he spilled. "Benny, Chef's son delivered our meal last night. He'd misheard his father's description; he'd called you my 'Moose' instead of 'Muse'."

Castle covered his ears, "Even if you were hairy, and smelly with antlers."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Oh, you so owe me for that one Writer Man."

They stepped into the restaurant.

Chef Benevento came out of the kitchen; He was wiping his hand on his apron. " Che cosa abbiamo qui?"

Chef Benevento this is Katherine Beckett,

Chef grabbed Kate and kissed both cheeks. He pinched Castles cheeks "Why were you hiding such a beauty?"

Kate smiled and replied "È un piacere conoscerti."

Chef clapped his hands together; Ricky's 'muse' spoke Italian. He liked her already. He was going to tell him to marry this girl, and have many beautiful babies.

Chef patted Castle's face. "Sit, Sit…I will make for you some lunch."

Chef rattled off instructions in Italian. His staff set out to fulfill his instructions.

Their server came to the table with a basket of bread, and a bottle of wine. She poured each of them a glass and placed the bottle on the table. "Papa, said he would like to serve a family favorite, if that is permissible for you?

Kate returned her menu to the server. "Saremmo onorati. Thank you."

Castle started to hand his menu over he held it out and paused. "Anna? "

Their server giggled and nodded.

"The last time I saw you, you had braces, and pigtails." Castle smiled "What a lovely young woman you've grown into."

"Thank you." After accepting Castles menu, Anna turned and headed into the kitchen.

Castle stole a look at Kate. She looked happy, he pick up his wine glass. "To love."

Kate held hers up and toasted "To new beginnings." She winked.

"Um that's good" they said together. They sat their glasses on the table after taking a sip. Castle broke open the bread. He handed a piece to Kate.

They enjoyed their meal. Chef brought out his wife. She had to see the 'Muse' (She was a fan, she'd read the Heat series.) She approved.

This was their first meal together as a couple. Chef knew, and outdid himself. It was delicious. (Kate enjoyed another serving of Affogato for dessert.) Chef insisted after he learned Kate enjoyed it so much.

Castle and Kate got up to leave, there were more hugs. Chef asked for them to return soon. Kate nodded her head. While Mrs. Benevento was giving Kate a hug goodbye... Chef whispered to Castle; "Marry her, and have babies."

Castle smiled and whispered back. "I intend to."

* * *

Castle noticed the air was definitely cooler than when they'd entered the restaurant. He wrapped his arm around Kate, instead of holding her hand. He didn't want her to get chilled. That reminded him of something he wanted to know.

"Kate"

"Um?"

"When you first arrived, you were so cold. Why did you ride your bike here in the middle of the night?"

Kate didn't even hesitate. "Because that's were you were. I didn't want to wait another minute, I needed to explain. I realized you'd overheard and I wanted to explain."

"You have to promise me, that you won't do anything that reckless again." Castle kissed her. "I would have returned to the city for you. I know I was upset, but Kate if you'd called I would have come. If you'd said you wanted to talk. I would have come. I've never been able to deny you anything…. No matter what happens in the future. No more running or hiding. Promise me."

"I promise." Kate added her own stipulation. "Promise me no more Slaughter."

"Good, I promise no more Slaughter. You're the only partner for me. Believe me, I learned my lesson."

"Good."

They headed back to the house.

It took them three trips to haul all of the things they'd bought. (Castle picked out most of it.) Once he'd been allowed to buy something for her he couldn't stop. She'd enjoyed seeing him carefree and happy. She didn't have the heart to stop him.

Castle lit a fire in the living room. Kate went to change. She came back out wearing one of Castle's purchases; A Batman T-shirt and leggings. She was barefoot.

Castel jumped up and said be right back. He ran into the bedroom and returned with an armload of pillows and blankets. When he dropped them onto the couch, she noticed his attire. A Batman T-shirt and boxers. She laughed as he struck a pose. He was flexing his muscles he had both hands fisted on his hips.

"… I don't know Castle, I think that pose is more Superman" she chuckled

"How about we cuddle, and watch a movie?" Castle waggled his eyebrows.

"Okay, do I get to select the movie?"

"Anything you want to watch" Castle pointed to a bookcase. "Inside you'll find the DVD's."

Kate headed over to the bookcase. She expected to find Si-fi and action movies. She found: classics, Disney, mystery. and she stopped when she discovered the entire collection of Temptation Lane. She turned around. "Castle."

He was busy preparing the couch for their movie marathon. He stopped and turned.

"Why do you have the entire collection of Temptation Lane DVD's?"

"I…I got them when I invited you to spend the week-end with me, but you didn't come." He continued to prepare their nest.

Kate closed her eyes this hurt more than she'd realized it would. "Did you ever wonder what I wanted to talk to you about that day; right before your Ex-wife showed up?"

"You told me to have a nice summer." Castle was thinking back, she did act odd that day. He added the pillows to the couch.

"I was going to tell you I'd broken up with Demming. I was going to accept your invitation, until you walked off with your arm around your Ex- wife. You left me standing there like a chump. I was so hurt. I didn't hear from you all summer." It was bringing back painful memories. Kate's eyes were tearing up.

"Oh God! Kate, if I'd only know. I'm an idiot." He went to her and wrapped her in his arms. He kissed her head. "Kate, I spent the summer pouting, after a week, Gina and I realized why we'd divorced. She stayed in the guest room and pestered me for more chapters. She returned to the city after two weeks." A thought hit him. "Dammit" I wouldn't have to endure Dr. Motorcycle boy. You met him while you thought I was with Gina."

"We can't let anyone or anything comes between us again." Kate nuzzled into Castle's shirt. She loved his smell.

"Agreed, hey! did you just wipe your nose on my shirt?"

"What? No!" Kate released from his arms, she headed to pick out a movie.

"There is a wet spot right here….." Castle pointed to the middle of his shirt.

"Just for that we are watching a 'Chick flick' Kate studied the titles she wanted as sappy of a girl movie as she could find.

"Not to worry, when Alexis was little she: threw up, pooped, and slobbered all over me. I had to use cloth diapers. (She broke out in a rash with the plastic ones.) I'm used to it. Our kids will do the same." He finished the nest and climbed in.

Kate froze when Castle said "Our kids" she fought back the tears how naturally he'd said it. She decided on a movie. _Star Wars Return of the Jedi_. She'd compromise. It really wasn't much of a compromise she love the genera.

The music began, Kate loved the score. Castle began reading the opening lines in his deepest voice. "_A long time ago in a far away Galaxy_." He could totally pull off Darth Vader. She climbed into the nest beside Castle. They began to watch the movie. Before the ending credits, they fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.

That's exactly how Alexis found them when she came in.


	11. Chapter 11

He always called. Now she was looking at the reason he didn't call. Kate Beckett; She noticed the matching Batman t-shirts. It only added to her fury. Her face was beginning to match her hair color.

Alexis rushed here after her finals, ready to calm and comfort him; this is what she walks in on. '_P-lease!_' She turned around and headed upstairs to her bedroom, she paused; she needed to see how much damage control she was in for. She retraced her steps and headed toward the master bedroom; checking the rooms located by the Master first. There wasn't any sign they were being used. She went into the Master and froze.

"This is worst than I thought." The ginger haired daughter noticed Kate's things all over her Dad's bedroom. She stood in shock, her eyes opened wide. Alexi's mouth gaped as she noted the Sleeping arrangements. (She had little doubt that sleeping was the only thing going on) This was bad. There wasn't enough ice-cream in the world to heal her Dad's broken heart after this. How would she ever help him pick-up the pieces? "Dad what have you done?"

Kate woke up, she sensed something was off. She listened. She sat straight up when she noticed the suitcase. "Castle wake up!"

"Again, all ready?"

"Castle someone is here!" Kate pointed at the suitcase.

"That's belongs to Alexis, Castle started to doze, and he sat straight up. "Alexis!"

Castle looked at the scene. They were lying together,_ ver_y _comfortable_. "Shit" He wanted to explain to Alexis the change in relationship status. (He wasn't about to post it on Facebook.) He wanted her to hear it from him, not have her walk in on them. This was bad. He jumped off the couch. "I'll go to talk to her."

Castle was cursing under his breath as he headed upstairs. _Would they ever catch a break?_ _Fate may_ _have brought the two together, but the universe was trying to keep them apart. Think!_ He'd focused only on talking to Kate; he wanted more time, just the two of them. He'd planned on talking to Alexis when he returned to the City. This wasn't going to end well. He checked her room, it was empty, and he went to his Mother's room. Empty. He was starting to panic. "Oh, God please no, No, NO! He raced down the stairs. He was just in time to see Alexis tear into Kate.

"Haven't you hurt him enough? Will you not stop until you've killed him? He won't survive you running away, not after this….Alexis pointed to the couch. She knew they'd past the just "Partners" stage. "You're not the one who's left behind to pick up the pieces. It's bad enough he follows you around at work. He's not a cop. How many more chances will he have before he doesn't come home anymore? He's all I have. Alexi's fury was unbridled and unmasked.

Kate was listening, she wanted Alexis to vent; voice her frustration, concerns. Kate knew Lil' Castle was guarded with her emotions around her. She knew she was more likely to hear her true feelings while she was angry, and unguarded. She felt she deserved to hear how her actions affected Castle's family; she was still discovering how her actions affected Castle. It was painful, but she needed to face it. It was the only way to heal. (Dr. Burke taught her that.)

"Alexis!" Castle was angry. He was angry at himself as well as his daughter. He couldn't deny he'd put his family through the Beckett roller coaster ride for the last three years. What they didn't realize and he'd only recently discovered. Kate suffered too. She'd been on the same ride, that he'd been on, and she'd been riding alone.

Castle came down the stairs, he headed toward Kate. He didn't feel a need to choose, they were both family. He knew Kate needed his comfort right now. He also needed Alexis to see that things were different.

Castle embraced Kate. When he let go Kate reached for his hand. She held it.

"Rick, it's okay. Alexis has every right to voice her options." Kate paused "I want to hear what she has to say."

Castle held up their entwined hands and placed a kiss. "I agree with you, but in this house we do not discuss things at the top of our voice." He looked at Alexis.

Alexis saw the disappointment in her Dad's face. She wasn't used to seeing him look that way because of her. She went and sat down in the chair dejectedly.

"Dad, when you didn't call, I was worried. You always call or text….I thought something was wrong." Alexis spoke in a quieter voice.

"Alexis, as I said; Kate and I had important issues to discuss. I'd planned on calling you when we'd completed our discussion."

Alexis cut her eyes around the room. It didn't look like much "Discussing" was going on. She smirked.

Kate saw the smirk. Lil' Castle knew they'd been intimate.

They were all quiet, the silence was uncomfortable.

Kate spoke first. "Alexis, first I'd like to… I want to apologize. My actions were hurtful to your Dad. I never intended to hurt him. I've handled…

"Yea, well you did." Alexis spat out. She couldn't believe she'd interrupted Beckett. She wasn't like this! She wasn't able to contain her emotions. It was so unlike her. Her anger erupted like a volcano, burning everything in its wake. She couldn't stop it.

"Alexis!"

"What? Dad! Are you going to sit there and act like you didn't try to drowned your sorrows in a bottle of scotch, I remember hearing you cry yourself to sleep…. You would sit and stare at your computer screen for hours, while you should be writing bounced around on the screen. All because of Beckett and your (Alexis used her hand to air quote) _relationship _with her." You came here to get over her. Alexis glared at him, she wanted him to try to deny that little fact.

"Alexis, it is true I came to the Hampton's because I was upset. I've, we both have realized we've made mistakes. We are working thru that now."

"So, I see." Alexis crossed her arms across her chest. The eruption was over, but she wasn't feeling very good about it.

Kate closed her eyes, this was not going well. She was trying to find the words to explain. She opened her eyes when she heard Castle speak; she knew the words were from his heart.

"Alexis, I love you. I understand this is difficult for you to process, rather than acting like a spoiled child, open your eyes and your heart. No one is running. Kate & I have spent the last two days, talking and healing. We have both made mistakes. Kate is part of this family, she isn't going anywhere. I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I have forgiven her for any wrongs that happened in the past; some of which I'd only imagined. Some I caused. I never realized the hell she'd faced. I pray she has forgiven me. I'm not the only one who's suffered. We are moving forward, as a couple. An exclusive couple."

Castle squeezed Kate hand.

"I shadowed Kate at first because I was attracted to her. It has evolved into so much more. Sometimes there is danger, but Kate puts herself at risk to keep me safe. She's asked me numerous times to stay back. I may not have a badge, but I am a member of a team. (A team that holds the highest closure rate in the city.) I've earned admission, and I won't give that up.

Kate tears were falling. She couldn't stop them. She didn't want to stop them. His words went straight to her heart.

Castle wiped the tears from Kate's face. He kissed her tenderly.

Castle turned, and looked Alexis in the eyes. "I know you have seen me…at some of the lowest points in my life, I can't say that I'm proud of...my actions. I'm your father, and I have made mistakes. I ask that you trust in what I'm telling you, I know what I'm doing. While I appreciate your support, I don't need you to protect me, or defend me. I'm standing on my on two feet from now on."

Alexis was stunned, she'd never seen Kate cry. She was always tough, scary even. Seeing her vulnerable and open defused some of her anger. For the first time ever, she'd seen her Dad protect someone other than herself and Gram. It hit her. Their love was real, for _both _of them.

"I think I will go up to my room." Alexis grabbed her bag, she didn't waste time heading up the stairs. She closed her door and lean against it. Her back slid down the door, when she reached the floor, the tears started falling.

"Are you Okay?" Castle ran his fingers across Kate's tear-stained face.

"I am." Kate nodded and managed a weak smile. "I am glad Alexis voiced her concerns and frustrations."

"I think that was more of a melt down." Castle chuckled. "She will come back down when she is ready to talk."

"I remember once when she was five or six. She was so upset she held her breath until she passed out. ….scared me to death. I didn't let her know I was scared. When she woke up. I calmly ask if she'd had a good nap. It's a good thing I inherited some of my mothers acting ability's…. Of course later I researched to see if there were any lingering side effects."

Castle sighed. "She has always been independent. I felt sometimes she raised herself, I was only along for the ride."

Kate touched Castle's arm. "You're a wonderful loving Father. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Alexis needs you. She relies on you; that's one of the reasons she is scared."

Kate fingers caressed his arm. "When I was 17 I was so excited to head off to Stanford. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I thought I was so grown-up, then I realized when I was there alone, I missed home. Even though I was an independent child, I missed being my Dad's little girl."

Kate looked up at Castle, "Should we get dressed?"

"No." Castle shook his head. I think we continue doing exactly what we were doing. (Except …have sex outside the closed bedroom door,) but other than that, this is us. I think it will help Alexis to see us together as a normal couple. That being said it's my turn to pick a movie." He headed over to pick out a DVD. He selected _An unfinished life. _Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman, Jlo, and a bear. It was a story about a family and forgiveness.

The couple settled under the blankets and watched the movie. They both sniffled a couple of times.

"I'm hungry; do you want to order in?" Castle stretched and yawned.

"Actually I'd like to cook." Kate's eyes twinkled.

"As you wish my beautiful moose."

Kate rolled her eyes.

They walked arm in arm to the kitchen.

Castle was grating cheese for the lasagna, and Kate was holding a spoon to her lips tasting the sauce, when Alexis walked into the kitchen.

The first thing Castle noticed she was wearing an Elektra T-shirt and leggings. He smiled. The second thing he'd noticed, she'd been crying.

"Is their anything I can do to help?" Alexis was trying to sound brave, but the quiver in her voice gave her away.

Kate turned and spoke up, "We need a salad, or the noodles need to be cooked."

"I'll make a salad." Alexis turned to retrieve the items, she was grateful to have something to do.

Castle began to sing a song from the Little mermaid. He'd gotten the movie when a kid from school teased Alexis about her red hair. It became one of her favorites. (Castle loved it too)

Castle imitated Sebastian's voice

[Percussion, strings, winds, words]

Castle sang:

_There you see her  
Sitting there across the way  
She don't got a lot to say  
But there's something about her _

Alexis sang:

_And you don't know why  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl _

Kate sang:

_Yes, you want her  
Look at her, you know you do  
Possible she wants you to  
There is one way to ask her _

Castle and Alexis smiled, Kate knew the song! And she had a lovely voice.

Castle sang with more gusto

_It don't take a word  
Not a single word  
Go on and kiss the girl _

[Sing with me now] Castle imitated Sebastian's voice

They all sang:

_Sha la la la la la, my oh my  
Look like the boy too shy  
Ain't gonna kiss the girl _

_Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad  
Ain't it a shame, too bad  
He gonna miss the girl _

They all laughed. The mood was a little lighter.

Castle went over and kissed Alexis on the top of her head. "I love you Pumpkin" then he went over to Kate. He enveloped her in his arms and kissed her passionately. She kissed him back; when they began to make noises.

Alexis chimed in "Guys you might want to keep this rated PG." she was smiling.

Castle broke free from the kiss and said "I'm never going to miss an opportunity to kiss the girl ever again. I love you Kate Beckett."

"I love you Richard Castle." Kate was still holding the spoon. "Oh! the sauce." She stirred it and prepared the noodles. Once the lasagna was prepared and in the oven. They all went into the living room.

Kate set an alarm on her phone. The kitchen was along way from the living room, she didn't trust she'd hear the timer on the oven alert when dinner was finished cooking.

Castle grabbed a bottle of wine.

"Alexis, it's your turn to select a movie."

The red-head didn't hesitate she loaded The Little Mermaid. She turned around; she glanced at the sofa before she headed to the chair.

"Alexis there is room for you; come and sit with us." She paused, and then joined the couple on the couch.

They sang the songs. Alexis and Castle recited the words along with the characters.

Kate's phone chimed. "Dinner is ready to take out of the oven" Kate excused herself and headed for the kitchen. Castle offered to help; she encouraged him to stay with his daughter. She would call them in when everything was finished.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I behaved like a spoiled brat. Detective Beckett is going to hate me." Alexis paused "She is different; open…I've never seen her cry before. I can see she loves you. I shouldn't have said all those things."

"I love you Alexis; you'll always be my little girl. He kissed the top of her head. I think you need to speak to Kate. Things are different for us. We are in a good place. She was worth the wait.

Kate came and called them to dinner.

Kate studied their faces during dinner, she was relieved to see the tension between Castle and Alexis dissipate. She was thankful. The journey had been long and harsh, but she'd arrived on the other side with her partner, her lover, and one day in the not so distant future her husband. The healing process had begun, it was about time. Kate looked at Castle and smiled; then she took a sip of wine.

* * *

What did you think? This one was hard to write.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N I wanted Kate & Alexis to have a talk. I didn't feel it was settled. I am planning on sending Caskett home to face the rest of the family, and friends. Then finish up with an Epilogue. Thank you for reading my story.

* * *

After dinner was over and everything put back in place the trio headed into the living room to watch a movie. Once again they all three settled onto the couch. The mood was lighter, but each one was content to watch the movie side by side. Castle kept his hands to himself for the most part. He rubbed Kate's arm gently, or absent-mindedly played with her hair. His fingers may have lingered on her neck, but he remained a gentleman with his daughter sitting beside him. They'd agreed on a movie. A game of scrabble was suggested, but each decided a movie would work better for this evening. They needed time to reflect on the day's events. Each of them needed time to unwind.

After the movie was over, the couple said goodnight to Alexis. There was still tension, but it wasn't like before. Castle kissed his daughter, and then extended his to hand to assist Kate in getting up. They headed toward the Master bedroom.

Their pace quicken the closer they got to the bedroom. They needed to release the sexual-tension each one built over the course of the evening, they'd tried to contain it around Alexis. Neither of them wanted to cause her anymore pain. The ache was becoming unbearable.

The door to the Master shut with a resounding click. They were alone.

Castle's lips sought out Kate's. He needed her. A primal urge to mate and reconnect was driving him into frenzy. When Kate surrendered herself to him, an unbreakable bond formed in his brain. Kate belonged to him. The claim was sealed with his heart. . He needed to demonstrate that fact with her, right now!

Kate sensed a burning hunger in Castle's kisses. She felt it too. Her body was on fire, she was anticipating the joining of their bodies. She quickly removed his t-shirt. …getting rid of any barrier separating them. She needed to feel his warm skin touch hers. Her Pheromones were raging. She'd never experienced anything like this. Kate enjoyed sex in the past, but this was different from any encounter she'd ever had. She encouraged Castle to take her. Show her how she belonged to him and him alone. She loved how he took charge in the bedroom. He wasn't satisfied until she called his name in the throes of passion. It was if he'd been making love to her forever. He knew exactly where to touch her. He read her like a book.

It was a good thing Alexis room was upstairs. The sounds coming from the master bedroom were primal.

The couple laid in each others arms spent…..their bodies slowly coming down from the heighten state of arousal. The pleasure of spilling his seed into Kate was unlike anything Castle ever experienced before. He'd never been in love like this either. His rational brain knew that Kate was using birth control. The odds of her getting pregnant while on the pill were slim, but the _possibility_ of his seed growing in her belly was profound. He yearned to have a child with her.

Castle loved his family, Martha and Alexis meant the world to him, but the bond he shared with Kate satisfied him like no other. He felt complete. The hell they'd gone through made everything seem sweeter. He'd already proved he would die for her.

As Castle's heart rate slowed, the heavier his eyelids became. Kate's hair was tickling his nose. He loved her scent, especially when it was mixed with his. She had her head on his chest, and she was lying naked alongside him. The contentment and happiness he felt was profound. Kate told him once, the way to know you're in love. All the songs made sense. He wanted to pen a sonnet for her. He smiled as he realized, he already had. She was Nicki Heat.

Castle fell into a deep sleep. Kate slept deeply beside him. It was a good thing the two rested better than they ever had apart. They needed it.

Kate awoke, dawn was beginning to break. Castle was still deep in sleep. She looked at him the love shone from her eyes. Kate held her hair back and brushed her lips across his. He didn't stir. She decided to let him sleep. She quietly got out of bed, and gathered underwear and clean clothes. She was going to shower. She grabbed the remote for the blinds she lowered them.

* * *

Kate headed to the kitchen she'd showered and dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. She was surprised to see Alexis was up.

"Good morning." Kate decided to keep it simple

"Detective Beckett you're up early."

"Kate, please call me Kate"

"Kate" Alexis said tentative. Is my Dad still asleep?

Kate nodded "I didn't have the heart to wake him, he looked so peaceful."

"He keeps weird hours, when he is inspired he may write all night. Then sleep all day." Alexis returned the juice to the fridge. She'd already poured a glass. I was going to ask if you wanted some juice, but I suspected you were going for coffee."

Kate smiled, even 'Lil Castle knew of her need for coffee. "Yes, I was about to make some."

Alexis nodded and pick up her glass and took a drink. When she sat the glass down she looked up at Kate. "I'm sorry I blew up at you yesterday." _She wasn't sorry for what she'd said only how she said it. _

Kate went to her and embraced her, she was stiff at first. "Alexis I wanted you to tell me how you felt."

Kate pulled back "Dr. Burke tells me feelings are never right or wrong, they represent how you felt at the time."

"You're in therapy?" Alexis was shocked.

Kate nodded. "After I was shot, I suffered from PTSD. It was affecting my job performance. Your Dad saw it first. He didn't know I was in therapy trying to cope, I was trying to heal, and I wanted to be a better person. I am still trying….. Alexis I am so sorry, for the pain I've caused your family." The tears were falling from Kate's eyes; she didn't realize she was even crying until a drop hit the counter. "I'm sorry" Kate quickly wiped her eyes. _She couldn't believe she couldn't rein in her emotions._ "I am in love with your Dad; I intend to spend the rest of my life making up for all the hurt I've caused him. I hope someday you can forgive me, but I can't walk away from him."

They were both quiet.

"When your Dad and I almost drown, I asked him to stop. To…to stop shadowing me. I signed up for the job he didn't. I told him I didn't want to be the one to take him away from you and Martha…..It's not that I wouldn't miss him.…He is a good Cop, even though he doesn't have an official badge. He sees things at crime scenes others miss…He has an uncanny way of finding the story, and solving the case…. He's made me a better cop. I couldn't ask for a better partner."

Alexis came and hugged her. "Kate, I want my Dad to be happy. I can see now that he is. I only want you to realize, you hold his heart in your hands. Don't break it." 'Lil Castles eyes were tearing up. "He needs the partnership with you at the precinct, just try to keep him safe."

Kate was choked with sobs she couldn't speak. Alexis released her from the hug, and Kate nodded she understood. "He's held mine for a while." She choked out.

Alexis was a Castle she took one look and announced Kate needed coffee. She went to retrieve the beans from the pantry.

Kate asks "Won't we wake him?" she pointed to the grinder

"My Dad can sleep thru a freight train when he's tired." Alexis continued "I'm assuming of course that he '_exercised' _last night."

Kate was blushing. She nodded "Grind away"

Alexis poured the beans into the grinder and hit the button. 'Lil Castle brewed a great cup of coffee. Family trait.

"I'm heading to the city after breakfast."

Kate swallowed her coffee. "No, Alexis you don't have to leave. We…"

"I came to make sure that my Dad was alright. He is more than alright. He is happier than I seen him in a long time. He is…" Alexis was searching for the right word. "I don't know what to call it, the look is gone."

"The look" Kate was puzzled.

"The pinning, yearning, tortured look." _That look was on a good day, when it was bad, drunk blubbering._ Alexis shook her head.

Kate nodded. She wasn't exactly sure she understood she was thankful '_the look'_ was gone.

"I think you two need to spend some uninterrupted time together. I've heard plenty of stories from Dad about missed opportunities."

"Please stay, until he wakes up so you can tell him." Kate remembered his panic when he thought she'd left without a word.

Alexis looked up at Kate; she could see the concern for her Dad. Worried he might be upset about her leaving. "I'll write him a note; he loves to get little notes. Except, when they are from his publisher, those not so much."

Kate filed that away for future use. She sat at the bar and drank her coffee while Alexis penned the note to her Father.

Kate was grateful Alexis, was giving her a chance. She intended to spend the rest of her life honoring the gift she'd been given; A Family.

Alexis finished her note and went upstairs to pack. She'd only brought one bag so it wasn't going to take very long. She was carrying her bag when she returned down stairs. She handed Kate the note. "I'll see you when you get back to the city in a few days." Alexis hugged Kate, this time she really hugged her. "Kate, I wouldn't make him wait, I know my Dad he is not going to want to spend his nights alone, not after…..I think he's waited long enough. He deserves more. He will ask you to move in, or marry him before you return mark my words; and I want you to know I'm okay with it. Either way; move in or marriage. He needs you."

Alexis opened the front door and paused. "You know I've always wanted to be a big sister." She continued out the door.

Kate was crying again. She felt like a bawl bag.

Castle came walking into the living room. "I smell coffee." He stopped when he saw Kate was crying. He went to her. "Hey." He wrapped her in his arms and held her as she cried. He was dying to know what happened, but he held on and waited.

"Alexis"

Castle closed his eyes _Oh No._ he braced himself for the worst.

"She…she went back to the city. She wrote you a note." Kate hand the slip of paper to Castle.

He read

* * *

_Dear Dad,_

_I have decided to return to the city. I can see you are in good hands. I think you need to ask Kate the questions you need answered. She is ready and willing to talk. We talked this morning. Dad all I want is for you to be happy. I know now that can only happen if you are with Kate. (_Castle eyes filled with tears when he read she'd referred to her as Kate not her usual Beckett_.) Whatever plans you have rolling around in that head of yours is fine by me: Moving in, marriage, Babies…just don't wait too long on the kids. I'd like to be a big sister while I'm still young. _

_Love you,_

_Your daughter_

_Alexis_

* * *

"She's okay with us. Our relationship she's accepted that you are a part of our lives." Castle cried tears of relief. He didn't want to cause any grief for Alexis, but he knew he didn't want to live a life without Kate in it.

Kate was crying too. She didn't want to come between Castle and Alexis. Their relationship was one of the reasons she'd fallen in love with him.

Castle and Kate held onto one another. They knew they still have people to face and questions to answer when they headed home.

For now they were going to concentrate on their relationship. Kate knew Castle needed answers. She was willing to provide them. Whatever obstacles they faced from now on, they would face as a couple.


	13. Chapter 13

Kate was a strong independent woman, when her heart demanded her to be with Castle; she was unnerved at first. She'd never been a clingy person; now she felt like a poster child for a Hallmark Card, or lifetime movie of the week. She'd melted with every look, every touch & caress….always craving more.

She'd kept everyone at arm's length for so long. (She didn't have arms long enough or the will to keep Castle away.) She'd use the technique to protect herself, and now realized now what she'd missed. She couldn't stand to be without him…. she actively sought him when she needed comfort; his arms, his smooth rich voice whispering loving words in her ear. He was the only person since her mother that she'd trusted enough to allow access to the deepest recess' of her heart.

She thought about it, and it dawned on her. She sought him out to comfort her before, only it was by reading his words. She'd used his books for years. They soothed her soul before the writer came into her life. She was inevitably drawn to his words. He spoke to her through them. She'd felt a connection...before she ever met him in person.

"Castle, I'm grateful you didn't give up on us." Kate was nuzzling into Castles shirt. (He'd slipped on the Batman t-shirt from yesterday.) She was inhaling his wonderful musky aroma, even his smell was comforting. She would recognize him by his scent alone.

"Are you wiping your nose on my shirt again?" Castle chuckled and squeezed her tighter.

"Kate, I didn't have a choice. I knew we were meant to be together." He kissed her hair. "Umm... some one's already showered and dressed. He unburied his nose from her hair. " I'm going to take a quick shower and then; I'm going to take you to eat the most amazing waffles." Castle reached under Kate's chin and gently raised it; he kissed her softly on the lips. "I'm going to grab a cup of coffee first."

"You go hit the shower; I'll bring you a cup of coffee."

"Do you even know how I take my coffee?" He raised his eyebrow.

Kate rolled her eyes, "I'm a detective, of course I do, cream two sugars. Now go shower, you smell like sex." Kate wrinkled her nose for dramatic flair. "I'm starving." Kate broke free of his embrace, and headed to the kitchen, she was going to bring him coffee for a change.

Kate was relieved the confrontation with Alexis was over. It weighed on her heavily. When Alexis realized she wasn't running anymore she relaxed. Kate knew she was protecting her Dad. She'd witnessed first hand the after effects of the Beckett rollercoaster.

Kate filled a mug with "World's greatest Dad" written on it. She felt it was fitting.

Castle was in the shower when Kate entered the bathroom. She placed his coffee on the counter, as she turned to steal a glance. "Oh, hell." Desire was coursing through her. She unbuttoned her shirt and shucked her jeans and undergarments, and stepped into the shower.

Castle's eyes were closed he had mounds of bubbles on his head; his large hands were buried in the bubbles massaging his head. Kate slipped her arms around him. (He'd heard her come in with the coffee.) Castle tilted his head away from her he didn't want to drown her in bubbles.

Castle turned and embraced her as soon as he was bubble free. He began to kiss her. His lips showed; how much he loved her, desired her, and needed her. Knowing she sought him out melted his heart. (It was something he'd only hoped she would do.)

Each of them was eager to touch, caress, and pleasure one another. Years of yearning, wanting drove them to openness in their lovemaking….neither holding back, they were all in. The need to connect, to meld their body's into one being drove them on.

Kate loved watching him, as his body shuddered with release; she watched his face morph from tight concentrating determination, to sweet bliss. The pleasure she derived from watching him fill a need seated deep within her.

They held onto one another, the water cascading over their sated bodies. Castle felt Kate's tummy rumble. He chuckled "I think you need those waffles now." He kissed her head.

Kate nodded and broke away from him. They washed quickly and stepped out of the shower.

Castle dressed quickly, he came back into the bathroom and grabbed his now cooled coffee. He drank it anyway. He wasn't letting it go to waste. Not when it was prepared for him by his lovely soon to be fiancée. (She would be soon if he had his way.) Kate was just about finished with drying her hair. He loved seeing her in his bathroom….. Sharing space with her. It felt _right_.

"Come on Love, you are beautiful just the way you are."He paused with his coffee cup in hand he ran his hand down her back. He left her to get dressed. He'd learned from the past. Hungry Beckett equaled grumpy Beckett.

"Really Castle! You're quoting lines from love songs." Kate rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

* * *

They walked outside.

Kate settled into the Ferrari, on the passenger side. She didn't want to admit it quite yet, but she loved seeing him drive. The muscles in his massive arms rippled as he shifted. He handled the machine with finesse. She cheeks warmed when her thoughts compared his driving to the way he made love.

Castle came over and opened the door for her. He assisted her getting out of the car. She didn't need the help, but she knew it was important for him to do this thing for her. Castle put his hand on her lower back and gently guided her into the waffle house. The aroma of bacon and coffee hit her senses first. She was starved.

While they ate, they exchange banner. Kate loved the openness of the relationship. She didn't have to guard her heart. She could express her feelings, finally. She smiled Castle was right she thought. _It felt fucking great!_

Castles expression changed, she could tell he was struggling, he wanted to ask her something, and Kate grabbed his hand. She waited for him to look into her eyes. "I meant it Castle, you can ask me anything. I will answer." Kate squeezed his hand in reassurance.

Castle nodded, "Kate, I've…..I know we have to go back to the City tomorrow, and I..." Kate waited she wanted him to find his words. "I want you to move in with me…with us." He was so nervous. He decided to spit it out. For a writer he was literally without words at the moment.

Kate took a deep breath, she answered him honestly. "Castle, I want you to know I'm in this, I'm not running, but I don't think we are ready to move in together." Kate watched Castle's face fall. This wasn't good. She didn't want to see '_the look'_ on his face ever again. "Castle, I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you, only you. I want the whole world to know that we are together."

"Why Katherine Beckett are you proposing to me?"

Kate raised her eyebrow. She blinked back the tears. _YES!_ the realization hit her hard. She wanted a committment from him. She needed to know she was his always; for the first time in thirty plus years she knew without a doubt exactly what she wanted and with whom.

"Oh! My God" Castle's brain was spinning. He needed to switch gears; the plan was placed in warp drive. He could do this with a little help from his friends. ..….Okay I propose…. we hold off on this conversation. Just until this evening. He was blindsided by her admission. He wasn't expecting this, he wasn't ready.

It was Kate's turn. Her face held '_the look'_; this wasn't the reaction she'd expected. Doubts of what Castle wanted began to creep into her brain. She didn't like this feeling at all.

"Let's get out of here." Castle grabbed bills out of his wallet and placed them on the table. He had a lot of work to do, the clock was ticking.

The ride back to the house was quiet. Each of them were lost in their own thoughts.

As soon as they returned to the house. Castle kissed Kate and excused himself to his office, saying had work to do. Kate stood in the Hallway. She didn't know what to think. She felt as if the rug was pulled out from under her. She deserved it. She had done it to him time and time again. When he felt they were getting closer. She would pull back, seek out another filler boyfriend. Her eyes opened wide, _he wouldn't_ wou_ld he? _She went to the living room. She pulled out the Temptation Lane DVD collection. She was going to try and get her mind distracted from it current state of spinning theory.

She pushed play and settled on the sofa. She grabbed the throw from the back of the couch, bemoaning she didn't have his body to warm her. _Stop it_! Kate told herself. It was not helping. She concentrated on the Show. After several episodes her mind was numbed. She fell asleep.

Castle was on the phone the minute he stepped into his office. His first call was to Ryan, he knew the Irish man was a sentimental sap, he could convince his partner in crime Espo to get on board. He personally called Laine; he knew he'd never hear the end of it if he didn't.

He called the loft. His Mom answered. Castle rattled off detailed instructions to her and then asked to speak to Alexis. He explained his plan to her. He was pleasantly surprised when she offered up suggestions to complement the plan. Lil' Castle assured him, they would take care of the details. It would be 'Epic'.

The next phone call was the one he'd put off until the last. Jim Beckett. With each ring, Castle's heart seized tighter in his chest.

"Hello"

"Mr. Beckett, Richard Castle calling. How are you Sir?"

Jim laughed, "Jim, please call me Jim."

"Right….Jim. I know this is late notice….." Castle filled him in on his plan. Castle was instantly relieved. Kate's father was on board.

Castle sat back in his chair, he relaxed a little, and the plan was in motion. Now he needed to get Kate out of the house. He checked his watch. Sunset was in six hours forty-five minutes. He sat the timer on his phone. He called and reserved a table at a restaurant named _Palm_. Everything was set. Kate! She must be wondering where he was. He headed into the living room. She was asleep on the couch. He kicked off his shoes and joined her. She stirred when he lay down beside her. She turned and snuggled into his arms. They slept.

Castle woke up before Kate. He laid still. He wanted her to rest, she would need it.

"Hey" Castle gently tucked an errant hair behind her ear.

"Hey" Kate was relieved to have him beside her. In her dream she was standing at her mother's grave, crying because she'd let her one and done slip away. Her mother was rubbing her back comforting her. Instead it was Castle rubbing her back as she awoke.

"I've made reservations for us. I thought we would celebrate in style for our last evening before returning to the city and the real world." Castle kissed her tenderly. "You are going to need an evening gown. So that means more shopping." Castle touched her nose. As if to make a point.

Kate buried her face in his massive shoulder. "….more shopping?"

Castle couldn't believe his ears. He was surrounded by women. Kate was the first women in his life who held an aversion to shopping. He knew she loved her coats and shoes, so she had to shop sometime. He was about to ask if she ordered them on-line.

"Fine" Kate untangled herself from Castle's arms and got up.

"Great, I made our reservation for an early dinner." Castle lay on the couch and watched as she stood up. He enjoyed watching her; he noted she didn't seem to mind.

They found the dress, the second boutique they went to. Kate's eyes lit up when she tried it on. She looked in the mirror and was amazed at the reflection smiling back at her. She held her hand to her heart. "_Oh Mom, I wish you were here. He's the one._" she said to the reflection. Kate only hoped she would find someone to share her life with. Her everyday life, well as normal as a cop's life could be. He knew. He was already a part of it.

When Kate emerged from the dressing room, she was dressed. "I've found the dress."

Castle turned around. The sales lady already disappeared with the gown, "I don't get to see it?"

"Tonight, you will see me in it." Kate was teasing him. She stopped in her tracks. Shoes! Okay she needed a pair to go with the dress; three-inch heels would be perfect. Soon she'd selected three pairs. Then she remembered she was shopping with Castle she placed two of the pairs back.

Castle nodded to the sales assistant. She discreetly gathered the shoes and headed up front. Castle went up front to pay. He asked the sales assistant to add in a tie to match her dress color, He gave her the size she nodded and came back with a burgundy tie and placed in a bag.

He loved buying things for her. He never wanted to stop. He wanted to spoil her. She lived a comfortable life. Her mother left a trust for her. She didn't have to live on a Cops salary. The only thing Castle ever saw her spend money on was her coats and shoes. Her apartment was filled with items she'd picked up from flea markets and second-hand shops. It wasn't because she couldn't afford more. It was just her. She had exquisite taste. She could redo the entire loft when she moved in. One step at a time he reminded himself.

They stopped at a Deli and split a sandwich. They didn't want much; they had reservations for an early dinner.

Castle opened the door, and cut his eyes around. He was trying to make sure they didn't run into any "helpers" before the time was right. Castle took the gown into the master and hung it in the closet. He didn't even peek. He placed the boxes of shoes on the shelves of the walk-in.

He rubbed his hands together and ran the to-do list in his head. He didn't want to mess this up it was going to be the first time for her and the last time for him. It was the first time he'd done it with his heart as a guide.

Castle came back into the living room. "I'll let you dress in the Master, I'll get ready upstairs."

Kate nodded and headed for the bedroom. She decided to take a bubble bath. She filled the massive tub. She realized they hadn't christened the tub. They'd covered most surfaces in the entire house save the other bedrooms. Hell, they'd even made out in the hot tub. She admitted to herself, it was going to be hard to return to the city. She'd enjoyed have Castle to herself. She wasn't ready to share him.

She decided to wear her hair up. She pinned and curled it. Satisfied she sprayed it, to secure the do. She'd shaved and used the cherry lotion that Castle loved so much. It was time to slip into the dress.

She ran her hand over the A-line jewel sweep/brush train chiffon dress with a split front. The rich burgundy color complemented her skin tone. The crystal embellishments were the same style of her shoes. With a slit on one side, it allowed her long lean leg to poke through. The trail led up dangerously higher upon her thigh.

Castle scurried around while Kate was in the bath. He'd gone to listen at the master bedroom door, he heard the water splashing. He checked his watch, and then he checked his timer on his phone. His co-conspirers delivered his tux and the other item he'd requested from his nightstand. He'd let them in through the patio doors in the kitchen. They'd informed him of the status of the covert plans. Everything was coming along great. He headed upstairs to shower and change. He'd grabbed the musky scented cologne, Kate loved it.

He showered and shaved. He rubbed lotion on his hands. He had plans for his hands tonight, he didn't want them rough. He donned his tux, and tied his new burgundy tie. He headed down the stairs to find Kate. He was halfway down when he saw her. She looked like a goddess. The burgundy color made her skin glow. She was breathtaking. He felt like the luckiest man in the world. He was frozen on the stairs.

Kate spoke and brought him out of his daze. "Nice tie" She smiled, only Castle would pay attention to the details. She'd noticed right off it matched her dress.

"I didn't peek, the Sales assistant selected it. I only asked her to match it to your dress." His voice was like liquid sex. Smooth and deep. Kate swore he was teasing her.

He'd begin the final decent down the remaining stairs. Kate was enjoying the view. He was ruggedly handsome. She wanted to rip the tux off and take him on the stairs. Desire was coursing through her.

Castle held out his elbow. "Shall we" His manly self was celebrating, as he witnessed the heaving of her chest. The crystals were bouncing light around the room from the movement. She wanted him. It was a great feeling, in the past it had just been him. (Or so he'd thought until just recently)

When the front door closed, the doors to the patio were opened. '_Operation Castling'_ was in full swing.

Alexis and Martha began to prepare for their guests.

Kate paused on the front steps. A stretch limo was parked in front. She looked at Castle with one eyebrow arched.

He quickly interjected "In case we want to have drinks, along with our dinner."

Kate rolled her eyes. She climbed into the limo; Castle received a view from the split in the side. She smirked as she noticed he '_adjusted_' himself before he entered the limo.

Castle rested his hand on the thigh that was exposed. He smirked when he noticed his ministrations on said thigh, caused her to re-adjust her current sitting position. She was relieving an ache she was experiencing herself.

The limo stopped. It was a good thing, He was about to relieve the frustration for the both of them.

The door opened and he slid out. He helped Kate from the limo. The couple made an impressive entrance. People stopped and stared. They were drawn in. The aura surrounding the couple was ablaze. They pair didn't even realize the effect their love had on everyone. The men dreamed of having a beautiful woman look at them like that. The women wanted to be the one, the one who his eyes were shining with love for. It was truly a beautiful thing to behold.

Their table was secluded; a single red American beauty rose stood in a crystal vase, and a bottle of Cristal was placed upon the crisp white linen. The couple sat side by side. Castle popped the cork on the champagne. He poured each of them a glass. Kate held hers up and touched Castle's.

"Always" Kate's eyes were shining with love.

Castle nodded in agreement. "Always"

His heart was somersaulting in his chest. That was a perfect toast. She'd chosen the perfect toast.

The staff knew he had a timetable to uphold. The courses were served with military precision. Everyone wanted to play a part in the couple's romantic journey. They were drawn in.

Dinner was perfect.

"I hope you don't mind, I've told them we wouldn't stay for dessert. I have dessert waiting at home for us."

Kate cocked one eyebrow up.

He read her thoughts "Although you would make a lovely dessert for me…" Castle kissed her on top of her nose. "I know how you love your sweets. I wouldn't dare deprive you of them." He kissed her forehead. "I wanted us to walk along the beach and enjoy the sunset, and then we will go inside for dessert." Castle kissed her lips. She leaned in she wanted to deepen the kiss.

Castle pulled back and stood up; he pulled her chair out and assisted her up. Castle held onto her arm, she seemed a little weak in the knees.

His timer dinged, just as the limo pulled up to the beach.

They stepped out of the limo, and they walked along the steps leading to the sand. And before they reached the beach Castle stopped. He circled his arms around Kate. The sun was setting. He paused and held her as they watched the setting sun.

The colors were vibrant. The orange and red colors burst against the night's sky, as beautiful as it was He felt as if the night sky was blushing; knowing somehow tonight the sunset paled in comparison with the beauty standing before her. The beauty he cradled in his arms. It was time. Castle came around her. Kate's face was bathed in the waning light.

Castle knelt down on one knee, as he reached into his pocket to receive a box. He held the box open and spoke.

"I chose a round stone to represent my love for you. It has no beginning, and no end…. My heart knew I loved you even before I met you. It was waiting for you…. The smaller stones surrounding it represent our family and friends… To remind us we are not in this journey alone….. The wedding band has stones to represent the ones we love who are no longer with us, to guide us as we begin our family." Castle paused and took a breath. Oddly enough he wasn't nervous. He knew without a doubt what he wanted.

"I promise to love you, until I draw my last breath. Katherine Houghton Beckett. Will you honor me with your hand in marriage will you share your life with me, always?

He was watching her face, his heart waited along with him. He held his breath.

"Yes, Kate's hand flew to her mouth. She returned her trembling hands to her side. "I would be honored to be your wife, to share my life with you. Always." Kate splayed her finger wide to accept his promise. She knew he had a way with words, but she'd never dreamed he would pick something so intimate. She expected something large and over the top. .. That was perfect. She felt so loved.

Castle slipped the ring on her finger. It fit; as if there was ever any doubt.

As Castle stood he noticed the crowed gathered at the railing. They'd watched the sunset and the proposal. They started clapping, Espo whistled. Everyone started yelling. When Castle took her into his arms and 'kissed the girl'.

Kate looked over her shoulder she started crying when she saw her circle of friends and family. This was perfect. She laid her ring clad finger on Castles chest." Thank you. "

He clasps her hand in his." Always"

They touched foreheads enjoying the moment.

The crowd gathered at the railing was growing restless. They wanted to congratulate the couple. They'd been part of this journey also. It was time to celebrate! She heard the popping of corks as she ascended the steps with her fiancé hand in hand. The couple reached the top of the landing; they kissed. The waning sun hid its blush behind the horizon.

* * *

I decided to bring the gang to them. I hope you don't mind.

The engagement party is next

then an epilogue


	14. Chapter 14

Still not mine just playing.

* * *

The final rays of light were disappearing over the horizon, as Kate and Rick stood on the landing greeting their family.

The guests made an opening to allow the couple to pass through them and head indoors.

Kate gasped, as she walked into the house. A complete transformation occurred. She thought _Only Castle could pull off a party of this magnitude in just a few hours. He knew people._

Wow! She looked around it looked like a different house. The dining room was staged for dancing. A DJ was set up, complete with lights and a massive sound system. (It was a good thing the houses were set far apart.) The kitchen held a massive buffet. She even saw an ice sculpture. A pair of swans sat on a lake. The lake was a block of ice that held fresh seafood. There was a fruit bouquet. It stood over three feet tall. She saw pineapple, strawberries, mango, papaya, and bananas. Three chocolate fountains were flowing milk, white and dark chocolate they cascaded like a waterfall.

Servers were carrying trays of finger foods; others carried flutes of champagne. She noticed a bartender in the kitchen.

The couple was ushered into the living room. A single chair stood in the center of the room. The couches and chairs were arranged to view the chair staged in the center of the room. Kate noticed a poster of the couple. It was a candid pose; it looked like they were at the precinct. You could see the love radiating from the looks on their faces.

Espo came over and grabbed Castles hand, he was expecting a hand shake or 'feed the birds', he didn't expect to hear the sound of handcuffs snapping shut. Espo grabbed Kate's hand repeated the procedure on her hand. He motioned for the couple to sit. There was only one chair, so Kate sat in Castle's lap.

The guests filtered into the living room, each carried a champagne flute. Alexis came over and kissed her Dad's cheek, she handed him a glass, and she repeated the procedure with Kate.

She walked over to Kate's Dad. "Mr. Beckett, would you like to join me in a glass of sparkling cider?"

"I'd be delighted, Alexis please call me Jim" He accepted the flute. "Thank you"

Alexis smiled "You're welcome Jim"

Everyone had a flute; Alexis tapped her glass with her nails. "Welcome everyone. Kate, Dad. I think we can get started.

Martha addressed the couple. "Everyone wanted a chance to share their thoughts, and so without further ado let us begin. Jim the floor is yours."

Jim faced the couple. "When Rick called and asked me for permission to marry my Katie, I didn't hesitate in my response. I hoped one day she would find the person with whom she was meant to be with. When he first started to shadow her she vocalized her displeasure repeatedly." He paused as everyone in the room chuckled. "She talked of him non-stop. Sometimes she was so angry with him she threatened to shoot him repeatedly; other times she was in awe. As time went by, she accepted him as her partner and into her life. She relied on him. I knew then, she'd found…. (Jim's eyes filled with tears.) What I had with Joanna. He headed over to sit on the couch. "Oh, I gave him my permission..." He added before sitting down.

Martha touched her heart. "When Richard first laid eyes on Katherine, he was smitten. He chased right after her. I wasn't surprised….. What did come as a surprise however was that he kept chasing her…. There were times when I thought he should give up. She wasn't going to stop running. Thank God he never listens to me"…..Martha paused …. "Then I realized he was in love with Katherine. He couldn't stop; he would die trying to win her heart, because she held his." Several guest dapped their eyes with napkins.

Espo stood up. He walked in front of the couple. "When Castle first came to the precinct. I though he was a tool." He looked at Castle. "No offense Bro'. I wondered what was a rich playboy doing coming in and playing cop. Then, he started building theory with our girl, some of them even made sense. They would blurt out the same thing at the same time. Man it was creepy." Espo shuddered. "He kept showing up day after day. I noticed a change in our girl here. She seemed happy….. He would take a bullet for her, and she would break him out of prison…..That my friend is true love." Espo eyed the room his look challenged anyone present to disprove his theory.

Ryan arose. He slapped his partner on the back. He shook his head. He thought his words were strange, but he knew they were heartfelt. He faced the couple. "When Castle first starting coming into the twelfth, Beckett's eyes would light up. He was always bringing her a cup of coffee. We all know how she loves her coffee. The stuff we drank was awful, and then one day we noticed, it wasn't the coffee she loved, it was him. Ryan paused his blue eyes were sparkling. "I'd like to share an old Irish Blessing."

"_May the road rise to meet you, _

_May the wind be always at your back_

_May the sun shine warm upon your face,_

_The rains fall soft upon your fields and,_

_Until we Meet again,_

_May God hold you in His Hands."_

"Congratulations guys Jenny and I are so happy for you." Ryan headed over to join his wife on the loveseat. Jenny patted his arm to let him know he did a good job.

Laine stood up. She locked eyes with Kate before she began. "I've known Kate for a while now. I watched her thru the years…while she does have an impressive coat and shoe collection. She wasn't having any fun. Then Castle came and rocked her little world." Laine smiled. "She's read everything he's ever written. Some of them over and over…. She was a huge fan before she even met him. She'd said she found his books in her Mother's collection. Did you know she has a book you've signed?" Laine looked at Castle. He shook his head no

"The girl stood in line for three hours…. She waited, to get you to sign her favorite book.

"Which book?" Castle whispered

"In a hail of bullets." She whispered back.

"What did…..

"Hum mm….Laine interrupted them." She gave them the I'm not done talking here look. "As I was saying, we were about to lock them in a cell together until they worked it out and admitted what they felt for each other. I'm glad to see we don't have to resort to that. We all knew they were made for each other. It's about time they did. My girl here is head over heels in love. Now get married already. Congratulations." Laine turned to sit down. Oh! May I just say those dedications, I mean wow Castle just wow."

Lanie stepped aside, it was Lil' Castles turn.

Castle could feel Kate tense up. He stroked her arm with his free hand.

"Finally! The roller coaster ride is over. I never doubted my Dad was in love with Kate. I did have reservations about whether Kate felt the same way towards him…. until I spoke with her, I realized Kate was on the same ride. She's experienced the highs and lows too. I've known she's a member of our family for a while, but I'd still like to say welcome. She held up her glass. Oh, almost forgot. Dad wanted to invite the entire precinct. We decided to keep this one just the family. We will have another engagement party at the Old haunt when we get back to the city.

Everyone tapped their glasses together and yelled speech, speech.

Espo came and unlocked the cuffs. Kate stood up and Castle stood right after.

"I would like to thank everyone for coming. I hope the ride in the stretch hummer was pleasant. I must admit my time-table was accelerated. Kate proposed to me over waffles this morning. I was not prepared to get down on one knee in the waffle house, besides I was thinking of a proposal on a much grander scale. I didn't have the details quite worked out yet."

Kate rolled her eyes. He was planning on something massive and embarrassing.

Castle continued "As it turns out tonight's proposal was grand in its intimacy, and she said yes. Castle held up her left hand. He kissed it. Our family being here makes this a perfect ending to a beautiful beginning. I would like to thank each one of you for helping make tonight possible. I would not have pulled this off without you. Katherine Beckett you have my heart, the only thing I have left to give…is my name. Name the day and I will gladly give it to you."

Kate touched her forehead to his. She held his hand in hers.

"Rick is the wordsmith, so forgive me for using the lyrics of a song. It's embodies what I'd like to say." Kate recited the lyrics.

"_I set out on a narrow way many years ago  
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road  
But I got lost a time or two  
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through  
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you_

Every long-lost dream led me to where you are  
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars  
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road

_That led me straight to you"_

"I am so very grateful you waited, and I'm excited to begin our life together. I'm certain we will drive each other crazy, you are my partner, my love and my life, my one and done. Kate looked up at him with tears spilling from her eyes. They were happy tears. I look forward to the day we will be joined together. I will be honored to take your name, soon."

Everyone in the room was dabbing their eyes.

Kate and Rick held each other and proved to everyone in the room. The waiting, the wanting was over. They were a couple. He kissed her and she kissed him right back. Both of them were on broken roads, until they met in the middle and chose the road to take together.

Cheers surrounded the couple. Every one raised their glass and then drained them.

The DJ started spinning Cd's. Music filled the house.

The couple stood and received congratulations from their family.

They made a beautiful couple. Everyone who saw them together; stopped and stared; they were drawn in just like a moth to a flame. It was as if they knew they were witnessing a love that was pure and true.

The celebrating was just getting started. They would eat and drink. The dancing and the party would last until the early morning hours. It was time to blow off some steam; release some pent-up emotions.

Everyone waited for this event to transpire. The families were grateful to witness the two finally admit their feelings to one another; it was such a pleasure to see them together. The words of love were spoken aloud, set free. Their love was finally allowed to unfurl and it was growing more and more each day. It empowered each of them. They knew the other would stand beside them. They were on the road together. When the bumps and twists and turns of life came their way. They would be stronger. They had each other to lean on.

The story books did get it right sometimes. Kate found her prince. She wasn't going to have to kiss anymore frogs.

Early the next morning, before they headed back to the city; Castle was walking around the gardens. He was checking for pods. He just wanted to make sure…..

* * *

_The end….._

_I will write an epilogue Thank you so much for reading my story. _


	15. Chapter Epilogue

Kate rode back to the city with Castle. He'd offered to have her bike delivered to NY. (He wouldn't consider letting her ride it back. He reminded her how frozen she was when she'd arrived at his bedside.) She decided to leave it in the Hampton's. She would return in the summer.

The trip to the City was definitely warmer; she looked down at her hand. His promise rested on her finger. Each time she gazed upon the stones she heard his words. His description of what each stone represented. She smiled; everything had to have a story…..

* * *

**The first day back:**

When they returned to the city He took her to her apartment as requested. When he realized she was going to stay. His face had 'the look'. _Oh Hell_ she thought. She held his sad face between her hands. "I'm just going to pack a few things. I'll stay for a couple of nights."

She could see the relief wash over him.

When they arrived at the loft he insisted she hang her clothes up in the closet. (He didn't want her to wear wrinkled attire.) …Okay fine, he wanted to see her things intermingled with his. He cleared a couple of drawers for her in the bureau.

Castle went into the Master bath, as he washed his hands; when he saw it, it stopped him in his tracks. Her toothbrush nestled next to his. Her things were sitting on the counter. He knew at that moment. This was real. She said yes. He reverently shut off the light and left to seek out Kate.

* * *

Her alarm went off on her phone; she blindly reached over to the nightstand. She felt her Dads watch and the chain that held her mother's ring. Finally she found her phone. She shut it off and begrudgingly got out of Castle's sinfully comfortable bed. She glanced over her shoulder. His massive arm still cradled her breast. She chuckled_. He liked to stay on second base in his sleep. When he was awake, he swung for the bleachers every time_. .. Kate needed to get ready for work. Castle still hadn't budged. She decided to let him sleep. She opened the closet and pulled an outfit suitable for work.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, showered and dressed. His arms were wrapped around her pillow, and he was fast asleep. She put on the watch and placed the chain around her neck. She slipped the phone into her jacket pocket. His promise of love encircled her finger, once he slipped it onto her hand, it never left.

She decided to leave him a note; she remembered Lil' Castle's comment about him liking to receive notes.

* * *

_Babe,_

_You looked so adorable. I didn't have the heart to wake you. I'll see you later. If you don't want to come in today I understand. Rest up you're gonna need it. I have plans for you. I'll call if we have a body drop. _

_Yours, always _

_Xxxxooooo_

_Kate_

* * *

Kate arrived at the precinct. The elevator doors opened to homicide floor. She looked around everything looked the same; but it felt entirely different. She was different. She went to her desk and removed her coat. She draped it over her chair, and picked up slips of paper laid on her desk. Random words were written on scraps of paper. She held her hand to her mouth as she read the words: 'bout time, congrats, you go girl, nice. She gathered the slips and placed them in her desk drawer. She knew Castle would enjoy reading them with her.

The boys weren't in yet. It was quiet. She headed into the break room. She needed coffee. Karpowski was just putting the finishing touches on her cup. She congratulated Kate and gushed over her ring. Kate wasn't as good with the machine as everyone else. Castle supplied her with coffee. She finally managed to get a cup brewed.

"So did you kill him already?" Espo saunter into the break room.

Kate rolled her eyes

"I think she just wore him out" exclaimed Ryan

Kate spit coffee everywhere. "Ryan!"

He smirked. He knew he was right. He fist bumped Espo.

The trio headed out to the murder board to pack up the solved case.

Kate's phone buzzed. "Beckett" Her tone was all business. It softened when she heard the voice on the other line.

"Hey, you left without me?"

"Hey babe, you were sleeping so soundly, I didn't have the heart to wake you. I left you a note."

Kate could hear the sheets rustling. He was searching for the note.

"Ah, found it," she waited as he read it. She heard his smile come across the phone." "I'm coming in. There's no way I'm letting you face the entire precinct alone. News like ours travels faster than…..well I can't come up with anything….. Besides I want to see who won the bet."

Ryan and Espo watched Kate as she talked to Rick. She wasn't guarded or trying to hide. She'd never looked happier.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit. I love you."

Castle replied "I love you too. I'll see you shortly."

Kate was smiling as she hung up the phone.

The boys were busted. They attempted to look like they were working instead of hanging on every word. Kate raised her eyebrow.

The boys quickly started removing the items from the murder board and packing them away.

"Where is the Captain?" Kate noticed her office was still empty.

"She had a meeting with the Mayor and Commissioners she said she would be in later today." Ryan spun around and continued packing the evidence box after delivering his new flash.

Ryan and Espo were finalizing the case they'd solved while she'd been in the Hampton's. They'd ID the shooter. The only thing left to do was finish the mountain of paper work.

Kate was going thru old cases when she heard the ding of the elevator. She looked up to see Castle balancing coffee and pastries. He'd enlisted the help of someone. She couldn't see their face behind all the boxes.

"Right in here he told the unknown assistant." Kate saw the boxes turn and head toward the break room. When they emerged empty-handed, Castle handed the assistant a tip.

"Thanks Mr. Castle"

"Thank you."

Espo and Ryan didn't waste any time, they brushed past the couple and headed into the break room. Boxes meant food. Castle always brought great stuff. The word was out, the elevator dinged a load of cops were scrambling out of the elevator and making a bee line to the break room. Espo and Ryan were coming out with pastries in each hand. Their mouths were stuffed full.

"Do you believe 'dat, they are all behaving like a bunch of vultures?" His words were muffled his mouth was full of pastries.

Ryan looked down he was going to fist bump him but his hands contained sweets as well. They shoulder bumped.

Castle placed Kate's coffee in front of her. He leaned in and kissed her, and handed her a bear claw.

"Where's Gates?"

"Meeting" they all said at once.

Kate looked at Castle. "You did this on purpose. You distracted everyone with sweets." Kate appreciated him even more at this moment. "Nice."

"I've discovered over the years, it's not a cliché cops really love donuts." Castle took his customary seat beside Kate's desk.

"I also promised free drinks at the Old Haunt tonight. We can formally announce our engagement there. I thought it would be better than everyone making a scene here. I don't want Gates kicking me out now." He starts rubbing small circles onto Kate's hand. "I sent pastries to every floor."

The elevator dinged. They didn't even notice they were focusing on each other.

"Mr. Castle Detective Beckett, my office now."

Castle swallowed hard. "They don't call her Iron Gates for nothing" he muttered under his breath. He reluctantly headed into her office.

"Sit"

They both took a seat.

"I've spent the last two hours in a meeting with the Mayor and Council members. It seems they are aware of your 'current status'. Is there a Face book account that I'm not aware of? I have been informed this relationship is 'good PR' for the department. Mr. Castle just so we are clear. This is my precinct. I will not have you parading around with the likes of Slaughter. Detective Beckett is your only partner from now on. Is that understood?"

Castle was about to respond, Kate gave him the look that said _stay quiet_.

Gates continued. I wasn't a fan of your shadowing Detective Beckett. I have to admit. You have proven yourself to be helpful…. as long as you conduct yourself properly. Oh, and one more thing. There will be no PDA's in my precinct. That is all."

Kate and Rick sat still for a minute before they got up. They wanted to be sure Gates was finished talking.

Just as Rick and Kate reached the door. She spoke again. They froze.

"What time is the party tonight?" The Mayor and Commissioners were asking.

Castle's head jerked up he cleared his throat. "It's starts at 7:00 at the Old Haunt."

Gates nodded, she looked over her glasses at the couple. "Congratulations, it certainly took you two long enough."

"Thank you Sir" Kate smiled. She stepped out of the office and went to her desk. A stunned Castle followed.

Three of them worked on paper work. The fourth member of the team played angry birds on his phone. Some things never change.

* * *

**Later that evening**

The Old Haunt was packed with the entire precinct, the ones off duty anyway. The night shift was at work. Free drinks, free food, and most importantly the winner of the '_Will she kill him or will she marry him contest' _would be announced. The winner was going to rake in around $ 1800.; The person with the correct day wins, or in case of a tie, the person with the closest time on the correct date.

Espo whistled to get everyone's attention. He slit the evidence bag open. He pulled out two envelopes. One held the cash, the other the guesses. It was time to see who won the bet. Javi ran his finger down the dates. He stopped when he reached February 7, 2014. It looks like a single winner…. Perlmutter?

Groans went through the crowd. Ryan started clapping and the others reluctantly joined in. Perlmutter are you here. Espo held his hand over his eyes to scan the crowd. He saw hands waving in the air.

Perlmutter came over to receive his winnings.

Castle and Kate slipped into the bar unnoticed. Everyone was focused on watching Perlmutter, as he accepted the cash.

"How did you pick the right date?" Espo asks

"My hobby in college was setting up actuary tables. I paid my way through school by making tables. I constructed a table for the couple. I formulated….." He droned on and on. It wasn't long before people started walking away, most of them made a run at the bar. Perlmutter was still talking. Ryan was the only one left listening, until he noticed the couple arrived. He poked Espo

"Hey! Everyone they're here." Espo yelled out to the crowd.

* * *

**Three months later**

She pretended the first month she wasn't living with him. When she tried to sleep at her place she would toss and turn and finally give in. She would make her way to the loft in her PJ's and quietly let herself in. She would end up crawling into his bed in the early morning hours. Castle never said a word about it. He loved when she came to him. He gave her the time she needed to sort it out. He knew she wasn't running.

At the beginning of the second month; she moved all of her clothes to the loft. She wasn't going to move in until after the wedding, but she couldn't wait. The wedding was in three weeks. She'd held out along as she could.

They were going to get married in the church where her Mom and Dad were married. The ceremony was going to be close friends and family only. (The church would be packed) Paula insisted on having a large reception. She'd invited half of New York. The couple conceded as long as they controlled the wedding ceremony. They planned on slipping out of the reception early.

Castle hired an assistant. Kate was overwhelmed with the amount of gifts the couple received. She couldn't keep up with the thank you notes that needed to be written. Her apartment was filled with gifts from all over the world. Kate was astounded at the number of people his words touched. She received letters from fans thanking her for her part of the Nikki Heat series. She was blown by the responses.

Paula milked the writer and his muse for all it was worth. His book sales skyrocketed. If she had her way he was going to surpass James Patterson.

The wedding was everything Kate dreamed it would be. Her only regret was not having her mother there as a witness. She stood before the mirror in her wedding gown and spoke to her.

"Oh, Mom I wish you could be here, you would love him. I never thought I'd find someone who understands me, and accepts me for who I am. I can't imagine my life without him. He's shown me the world is filled with magic. I only had to open my eyes to see it."

Kate kissed her Mother's ring, and tucked it inside her wedding dress. It's time.

Kate stands still before she heads down the aisle. Today is perfect. She knows Rick is waiting for her; she only has to walk into his arms. Her smile is radiant. She links her arm thru her Dad's and heads straight to him.

This is their love story, and they said "Always"

* * *

This was my first epilogue.

I hope it was okay

Thank you for reading!


End file.
